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Thread: Quotes

  1. #11


    I was just watching the E True Hollywood prog: Does anyone have the script for Phone Call to God?
    If you can't be a shining example, be a horrible warning...

  2. #12


    I could only find part of it online.. but I'm pretty sure you can find the whole thing in her book "My point and I do have one"
    But here goes:

    "I don't understand why we have fleas here because fleas do nothing at all beneficial. But I thought at times like this when we can't figure it out for ourselves...wouldn't it be great if we could pick up the phone and call up God and ask him these things. Just pick up the phone and call up God -- 'Yeah, hi God, it's Ellen...Listen, God, there's certain things on this earth. I just don't understand why they're here. No, not Fabio. No. But there are certain things, I mean, Jesus Christ. No, I didn't mean that. That was great. We're still talking about that. No, I was thinking more about insects. No, bees are great. The honey. That was clever. You're welcome. I was thinking more about fleas...they seem to have no beneficial...[waiting] No, I didn't realize how many people were employed by the flea collar industry...not to mention sprays. Well, I guess you're right. Of course you are...'"

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004


    i found mine online somewhere. i think it was off of "Taste This."

    this is how mine sounds:

    " here's the thing, i feel like that everthing on this earth is here for a reason. thats just my opinion, i think that there are no mistakes. and i think that even if you dont understand why one thing is here, you find out later that it works with the ecosystem somehow. i dont understand why we have fleas here though because fleas do nothing at all beneficial. but i thought at times like this, when we cant figure it out for ourselves, wouldnt it be great if we could just pick up the phone and call up God and ask him these things? just pick up the phone and call up God.... yeah hi God its ellen.. ellen.. degeneres.. de-generes. whats so funny? no i never thought of that.. it does sound like that, doesnt it? i get it. listen if you weren't to busy--- yeah sure ill hold on (somebody's at the gate). onward christian soldiers marching--- yeah. no just singing along to your tape. its not a tape?! they're good! listen, God, there are certain things on this earth that i just dont understand why they're here.... no not fabio. no. but there are certain things, i mean, Jesus Christ... no i mean that! that was great. we're still talking about that! no i was thinking about insects. no, bees are great.. the honey. that was clever. you're welcome. no, i was thinking more about fleas.. they seem to have no benefic--- no, i didnt realize how many people were employed by the flea collar industry. not to mention sprays.. well i guess you're right. course you are! course you are! well you got a little cold, God bless you! bless yourself! you could just bless yourself, couldnt ya? yes im still doing the comedy. uh-huh. oh you got a joke for me? id love to hear it. no, i got time. course you know that more than me, huh? that was a joke. go on. oh, whos there? God who? Godzilla. its incredibly funny, uh-huh. you got another one? whos there? God who? God a dime! WHOAA yeah. i dont have time for another one, no. i just remebered i have an appointment i have to get to. how bout that? God who.. gotta go. cute? stupid.. alrighty. it was good talkin to you too. and ill see---ill talk to you later. alright. buh-bye"

    hope i didnt mess anything up lol

  4. #14


    I've always liked this quote.

    "I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that. "

    Ellen is funny no matter what the topic.

    She was AWESOME as Dory.
    "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, what do we do we swim!"

  5. #15

    Default quotes

    Can't forget....

    "Oh she tripped?...Nooo, shes running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running, she did trip. You Tripped!!!"

  6. #16
    Senior Member KP18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Ontario, Canada

    Default Re: quotes

    Here are some of Ellen's Quotes that I thought was pretty funny:

    "I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

    "People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant."

    Oh, you're ready right now? Well, I'm not... Okay. Now I'm ready. You see how I throw my weight around?" (Said to a crew member who was rounding up cast members after a show break)

    "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves."

    "Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away!"

  7. #17


    i cant think of any quotes at the moment, but my favourite episode at the moment has to be the one were she is having sex dreams about adam. i havent seen many, ive got freeview so abc1 is showing random ones, really want to see the puppies episode!

  8. #18


    "Oh she tripped?...Nooo, shes running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running, she did trip. You Tripped!!!"
    haha yea thats my favorite one i couldn't stop laughing :lol:

    (idk if i have this exactly word for word)
    "i just tripped on a pebble. Watch out heres a pebble there. Someone should put an orange cone there or something."

    and when she sings "shoop"

  9. #19
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005


    I think the best line i ever heard from her is " WHY WATCH TV WHEN THERE'S A BETTER ENTERTAINMENT" -ITWCT2

    :inlove: ha: :thumbsup: :biggrin:

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