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Thread: Coming Out ! At least, on this forum

  1. #21
    Unreachable AnastasiaBeavrhausen's Avatar
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    Well I guess its my turn. A few of you know that I have always said I was straight and I was. WAS! 8 months ago today, a beautiful woman told me she was in love with me. I was shocked and told her I was straight. And we talked (texted) until 6am talking about this love she had for me. I was so scared and shocked. Because I didnt want to hurt her feelings and reject her.

    We had our first "date" on my birthday and really hit it off. It was a great weekend. I was scared and so was she and what is funny is that we were sitting on the couch saying, "We arent lesbians are we?" "No we arent gay!" She is divorced and has 3 kids... me I was single at the time, and I almost got married to a man that I was with for 5 years.

    The thing is, I came out to my mom and a few of you know here and she and my friends here were very supportive. My girlfriend however, is not out and its tearing her apart. She just told me today she is telling her kids this weekend and wants me to move in with her eventually and even talked about getting married since it is legal in Iowa. But this has been so hard on her because not want her kids to be bullied in school because the school district is having a problem with that. I think she is afraid of her kids wanting to leave and go live with their dad in Florida. One of her kids already lives there.

    I am not all the way out and it took me a lot of courage to do it here. For those that know me on Facebook, please do not mention any of it there because I am still in the closet and waiting until its the right time to do it because I have so many high school and college friends that do not know yet.

    I just ask for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Kim is going through a heck of a time because she is so scared, she is not sleeping, its tearing her apart and I am being patient. I also have come out to a few of my close friends here at home and have had nothing but support.

    I just cant believe the love we have for each other. There have been good times and we have broken up I dont know how many time lol. But we still have this amazing connection that is so strong I cant even explain it. But she is the love of my life and I am proud to say I am a lesbian. We joke about it... she loves to call me one all the time. But anyway, I wanted to tell you all and it was hard to do this. But I ask for support and prayers for us as we go through this trial of coming out to family members, friends and others. Its going to be hard. But I feel that it will turn out okay. I am deathly afraid of her kids hating me so if anyone here has kids any advice would be great.

    Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling. I tend to do that when I am nervous... Love you guys.

  2. #22
    Moderator jlilest's Avatar
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    I rather think I can't give you any advice, but I do wish you and your girlfriend all the best and I hope you both are able to work through this.
    James

    Is it just me or do you hear the sound of tweets too? What about facing a book?

  3. #23

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    Honey,

    I´m so proud of you and I love you and heaven on earth for both of you.
    My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you.
    If you need to talk/yell (you always do that!!!)/scream/cry/jump because of happiness etc you know where to find me.
    Get a knife and run into it.

  4. #24
    Ellen-VIP Jats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnastasiaBeavrhausen View Post
    Well I guess its my turn. A few of you know that I have always said I was straight and I was. WAS! ....
    AB: First, CONGRATULATIONS! This discovery may seem scary in the beginning but it is the BEST and MOST LIBERATING thing that can happen. Very happy for you.

    It does take a lot of Courage to come out. However, there is nothing to fear but fear itself and these fears can be conquered one day at a time.

    All these fears and "what..ifs" are results of our past conditionings by society which results in mostly our minds playing mind games with us. These are just obstacles that we need to overcome. Once we come to terms with that, let those go and we find a whole new world.

    If I may offer some words of encouragement.....

    Courage is never letting your actions be influenced by your fears.- Martin Luther King, Jr.

    “Stand up to your obstacles & do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.” - N V Peale

    It may not be a easy and or smooth path to travel but,
    When the action is pure and selfless, everything settles into its own perfect place. Lao Tzu

    And always "Be who you are and not what others want you to become"

    Remember you are not alone..... you have a whole forum to support you....

  5. #25

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    Awe AB, I am so happy and excited for you!!!! You have found love! You and your girlfriend will come out to everyone necessary in all due time, don't stress too much over it. Those who truly know you both and love you both may have to pick up their jaws from the ground in shock at first, but they will. You will still have the love and support. You definitely have it here. Congrats to you and your love!
    "Action is eloquence."

  6. #26
    Ellen-VIP suki's Avatar
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    AB I have nothing but admiration for you for having the courage to come out to your mom and your friends on here. Even though it shouldn't still be such a big thing to do in this day and age, of course we all know it is and how hard it is to live an open life and tell the ones you love that you're gay, but I am so happy that you have found the love of your life and that you make each other happy.

    A friend of mine had a similar experience to Kim, she met her partner a couple of years after she got divorced and had to tell her two kids who were 15 and 9 at the time that she was gay. At first they found it hard to accept, but at the end of the day she is their mom and they love her and once they had gotten over the initial shock they were fine and now they all live together as one big happy family (In fact I was there last Saturday for dinner ) So even though it may be hard at first, they'll get used to the idea, I think the thing to do is take it really, really slowly so they have time to process it without everything happening at once.

    But I wish you and Kim a long and joyous life together and I will thinking and praying for both of you as you continue on your journey

    Lots of love Sue xx

  7. #27
    Unreachable AnastasiaBeavrhausen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sukibaby View Post
    A friend of mine had a similar experience to Kim, she met her partner a couple of years after she got divorced and had to tell her two kids who were 15 and 9 at the time that she was gay. At first they found it hard to accept, but at the end of the day she is their mom and they love her and once they had gotten over the initial shock they were fine and now they all live together as one big happy family (In fact I was there last Saturday for dinner ) So even though it may be hard at first, they'll get used to the idea, I think the thing to do is take it really, really slowly so they have time to process it without everything happening at once.

    But I wish you and Kim a long and joyous life together and I will thinking and praying for both of you as you continue on your journey

    Lots of love Sue xx
    That is good advice. I am going to share that with her. Thank you all for your support. I told her I did this and she was like "WHUUT!" And I explained I needed to. And I will come out on Facebook when she comes out. She was going to tell her kids this weekend, but now she is afraid again and is holding out. But I will share this with her. We are both definitely afraid of the results. She said last night "They will just go live with their dad then if they dont like it!" And I told her that is so wrong because she LOVES her kids and I for sure am not going to be the one that breaks up a family. I told her that. She is very afraid that her kids will be bullied, that is her main concern, their friends. Bullying has been a big part of the school district. A freshman recently shot himself after the football team picked on him using Facebook and at school... Her one daughter is so sweet and popular and beautiful and is 13. She is mainly afraid for her, because her daughter was accused of being a lesbian with her best friend because they do everything together. Kim went to the school and said "What more is it going to take to get you all to recognize there is a bullying problem here" and told the principal about it. Apparently they talked to the girl that started the rumor and denied it but it has stopped. It freaked her daughter out. So we are hesitant. Me I need prayers in patience. I just want her to come out already! lol. But its easier said then done and she has way more to lose than I do. She wants me to move in with her, and I want to, but then I dont want her to lose her kids over me. That is not right. But she was curious to what people might of said here about the kid situation and suki, thank you. I will pass it along. Thanks for your support everyone. I just want to be with her, get married, and be with her for the rest of my life.

  8. #28
    Ellen-VIP suki's Avatar
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    You're so welcome, if anything I can tell you will help in any way, then that's great. I know how hard it was for my friend Ros to tell her kids, I mean I've known her since we were in school and there was no indication that she was gay, but I think if you meet the right person for you then it has absolutely nothing to do with anything that has gone before.

    The bullying thing is of course a worry, especially if it was girls saying that to her, she's probably going to be sensitive to it now anyway. And that poor boy who shot himself, that's terrible

    I remember when Ros first came out to me, she was terrified of telling anyone really, but especially her kids. She had the exact same worry that they would go and live with their dad. It was her son Josh who was 9 at the time who reacted the worst to it, he was very angry about it for a while, her daughter Sophie was better about it, but she's always been a sweetheart and old for her age, but I think she was worried about school and her friends finding out, which of course is understandable. But Ros just carried on with their normal routine and didn't really change anything, she only saw her partner Gill when the kids were at their Dad's or other times when they weren't around so it was like nothing had really changed. I think the worst thing would have been if she'd suddenly brought Gill into it straight away, because then everything would have been different and they wouldn't have adapted to it. But once they realised that the world wasn't going to end Ros slowly introduced them to Gill and things went from there. Josh is 13 now and he's great and Sophie is away at college, but she comes home quite a lot, so they're just like any other family really.

  9. #29
    Senior Member B*EDPD's Avatar
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    I'm happy for everyone coming out

    It annoys me that people have to go through this though.. the worrying and anxiety o wondering if they will accept it or not.

    I mean i know you need to, because of the way the world is, but I really dont see the problem with people being gay... It just seems like any other relationship. Yet a lot of people I know, well, a lot of people in the world see it as a completely different thing, and worse, something lesser than "normal".

    I really dont get it, and when I try to explain this kind of thing to people, they either refuse to agree or accept it, or accuse me of being gay.

    Such immature people. Here I am saying this and I'm not even out of school yet!

    Sorry for the rambling.. Im just not happy with the level of Equality in the world today. I wish all my gay friends/family could feel the same acceptance as everyone else.

    Laugh.Dance.Love

  10. #30
    Junior Member britt.'s Avatar
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    hi everyone,

    im britt, im not new to this forum i've just been really shy
    i don't know anyone here personally so i don't know if anyone will read this or even reply but i dont really have anyone else and it would just be soo good to know that despite how alone i feel im not.

    im gay, there... i just wish it was that easy to say in my real life !
    there is no-one to tell though, well nobody who wants to here it anyway. After years of struggling with it, i finally have realised the truth and i cant escape it anymore, i dont want to escape it !
    so there you have it im out, well on here anyway

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