Confusion!

[Loopy_loo]

ok, i'm not sure if i would even be posting this is the right part of the forum, so i apologise in advance.

I like to think that i am among friendly and caring people when i come to this website, so im gunna off load some stuff thats been going on with me.

I think a while ago on here i mentioned that i kinda had some feelings maybe for my best friend.

now i have not come out of any closets, im not even sure what on earth im thinking at times, im still very confused sexuality wise.

here is the huge snag, she is straight and has been with her long term bf( who is lovely) for 9yrs now.

the last few months we have grew much closer an have the best friendship. I've actually not long got bk from the super market with her( we were buying some birthdays gifts for another girlfriend).. i kinda felt she was maybe, innocently flirting with me, to make me giggle, but i find her difficult to read, sometimes, i look at her an , i cant describe how it makes me feel, its kinda like sometimes, i have to catch my breath. an she is absolutley, drop, dead, gorgeous- i mean seriously, she is stunning.

i feel i can tell her almost anything, an that makes it so difficult, cause the person i would go to to tlk about this situation, i cant, because its , well its her.

i did tell her a while back about being confused, an she was very supportive, an made me feel at ease, an nothing more was said about it, but she knows how uncomfortable i feel talking about it, so she doesnt bring it up, unless i was to.

its just, i know what i should do, its obvious, get over it, because she loves the guy she is with very much. an i know she loves me, just not in that way. but its so hard when you have all these feelings an you cant show them. and getting rid of them is difficult, i say that but i dont understand what the cripe is goin on with me.

any advice you have, anything u say i would greatly appreciate.

xx:)

[patachnouk]

Well, I wouldn't know what advice to give you... But I hear you and I'm sending you a huge bear-hug! I'm sure you'll find your way, one way or another...
I also feel a lot of confusion and don't really have the courage to speak about it out loud. And it can be hard sometimes. So, if you want to talk more by pm or msn let me know :)

[mrscigarettes]

Hi, I'm new here !

Well, here what i want to tell you :

I had a best friend, who I loved SO MUCH ! She was the best one I ever had ! But, I told her that maybe I was bisexual (by the time, i was very very very confused). She was too. We were the best friends on earth, really. Our friendship was very strong and ambiguous, as time goes by. But, she fell in love with me. I loved her so, but I wasn't in love. She had a boyfriend too. And really, there's nothing worse than seeing this sparkle in her eyes and thinking : "wow, thank you to love me so much, but it hurts to see you loving me that way and I can't love you in the same way." It hurts her soooo much, and I tried to compensate this by being the BEST friend she ever had. There are several reasons why I didn't try to have a relationship with her : she had two kids, a boyfriend, I was too confused with my sexuality. I didn't want to try because I was afraid of all the things she would have lost if it wasn't working. It hurts her so much to love me this way that the best thing we could do (despite our great relationship) was to stop talking to each other. Because by the end of the day, it was just destroying everything. But I still love her deeply, in my own way and she will always be this special friend to my heart.

Next thing I wanted to tell you, is that i had a friend who was heterosexual, and she was VERY VERY VERY gorgeous, sexy, well PERFECT. But heterosexual. She was very seductive too. She loved to play at this game. You know, make me blush and all that stuff because I told her that if she wasn't hetero, she would have been fine for me. But she was playing that game with everybody. Trying to please everybody. And she was very open with the fact i was maybe bisexual. She played with this. You see ?
Now, maybe sometimes, the idea to try something with me maybe crossed her mind. Than that's why maybe she were always playing with me. Maybe she just wanted to see where were her own limits ?! And maybe your friend is doing the same thing with you. Maybe your sexuality just made her questionning her own sexuality. That's why maybe she is a bit flirty with you like my friend was with me, too.

But I would say that if it hurts you too much, if it's something that burns your heart and messes too much with your mind : try to remain a bit distant. OR try to talk about what you feel with her. But i know how it feels to look at someone -who's hetero and awfully beautiful- and you know being like in front of the most beautiful thing you've ever see...

i don't know if it will help you, and i'm sorry for my english. I tried to write the best i can LOL. But if you want to talk about it with me, well, you can send me a PM.

Take care ;)

[Loopy_loo]

hey guys, thanks so much for responding, i'll drop you botha pm ltrs when im a little less busy thankies xx:p

[mrscigarettes]

You're welcome Loopy ;)