Lisette
12-19-2004, 01:07 PM
I have spent a good deal of time today reading about everyones thoughts about Ellen's breakup and its made me very sad for her and for Portia . Alex and Francesca.
Being a celebrity or involved with one really sucks. Imagine your last relationship and the indecision/pain/fear/feelings you felt about it. You were maybe not certain about staying together or breaking up...you loved the person, they had become your best friend and more but you could no longer see yourself going thru life in the relationship..but you just can't leave cuz its not just hurting your friend but the world is gonna judge you, the media is gonna riducule you, the gay community is gonna blame you...and all because you are making a decision, not lightly (tho it may seem to outsiders) to do what you feel is best for you in your life. Imagine that you in the midst of struggling with all of these feelings do the horrible thing of falling for someone else. Now you are viewed as a horrible cheater, you have betrayed everyone's feelings about your relationship, how could you do that to your fans. the gay community, you are suppose to be responsible, you are not suppose to go by your feelings. To make this worse, you fall for a woman who has never ever come out, she has lived her life quietly, chased by tabloids but never sat down and told the world that she loved another woman. Imagine also that she is not what the media holds as your typical lesbian, she dresses up, she wears* Horrors* makeup. she likes that stuff and tho' she has a job and a career of her own and has since forever you know they will say she is going with you to further that career that has been going on since she was a teen, quietly like most of her life and her love. You know they will say she can't care for you, she is younger, different from what you have had in the past, she just isn't what they want to see you with, how could you like her! Painful to be told you aren't good enough to be loved just for you by the same fans who profess to adore you. They will say she is *ugly*, they will write about you both, stand in front of your home, chase you to work every morning, dying to get that first picture of you two together! They will analyze it to death in the press and on your own website, they will bemoan your betrayal of THEIR view of YOUR life and the obvious fact that you dare to think you can live and love as you wish without interference from them.
They liked you better with Alex, they want you with Alex, they demand you go back to Alex and get over this silly thing. You owe it to them.
They tell you, she can't be right for you. Afterall they know you better than you can ever know yourself. They read about you in that press that is chasing you, they watch you dance on your show, they should know.
It sucks to be a celebrity or be involved with one. It also sucks to be a friend to one and to love her and want the best for her and watch her go thru the pain of a public breakup. All of the anger directed at Ellen and Portia is so ugly and so hard for me to understand. I keep going back to my last breakup and the agony of it. I am blessed that I am a nobody and could cry alone. I wish for Ellen, Alex, Portia and Francesa that same ability to cry alone, under their covers, eating bad food and watching bad tv. I wish they all could do that and then walk out their respective doors and leave it, like I did, until I was ready to go back to it.
I know its wistful thinking on my part that they could handle their lives in private, too late for that but I do wish and maybe this could happen here please that you give them a break from the anger and judgement that you remember your last breakup, your last sudden relationship, your last someone leaving....and be kinder to all 4 women
Lisette.
Being a celebrity or involved with one really sucks. Imagine your last relationship and the indecision/pain/fear/feelings you felt about it. You were maybe not certain about staying together or breaking up...you loved the person, they had become your best friend and more but you could no longer see yourself going thru life in the relationship..but you just can't leave cuz its not just hurting your friend but the world is gonna judge you, the media is gonna riducule you, the gay community is gonna blame you...and all because you are making a decision, not lightly (tho it may seem to outsiders) to do what you feel is best for you in your life. Imagine that you in the midst of struggling with all of these feelings do the horrible thing of falling for someone else. Now you are viewed as a horrible cheater, you have betrayed everyone's feelings about your relationship, how could you do that to your fans. the gay community, you are suppose to be responsible, you are not suppose to go by your feelings. To make this worse, you fall for a woman who has never ever come out, she has lived her life quietly, chased by tabloids but never sat down and told the world that she loved another woman. Imagine also that she is not what the media holds as your typical lesbian, she dresses up, she wears* Horrors* makeup. she likes that stuff and tho' she has a job and a career of her own and has since forever you know they will say she is going with you to further that career that has been going on since she was a teen, quietly like most of her life and her love. You know they will say she can't care for you, she is younger, different from what you have had in the past, she just isn't what they want to see you with, how could you like her! Painful to be told you aren't good enough to be loved just for you by the same fans who profess to adore you. They will say she is *ugly*, they will write about you both, stand in front of your home, chase you to work every morning, dying to get that first picture of you two together! They will analyze it to death in the press and on your own website, they will bemoan your betrayal of THEIR view of YOUR life and the obvious fact that you dare to think you can live and love as you wish without interference from them.
They liked you better with Alex, they want you with Alex, they demand you go back to Alex and get over this silly thing. You owe it to them.
They tell you, she can't be right for you. Afterall they know you better than you can ever know yourself. They read about you in that press that is chasing you, they watch you dance on your show, they should know.
It sucks to be a celebrity or be involved with one. It also sucks to be a friend to one and to love her and want the best for her and watch her go thru the pain of a public breakup. All of the anger directed at Ellen and Portia is so ugly and so hard for me to understand. I keep going back to my last breakup and the agony of it. I am blessed that I am a nobody and could cry alone. I wish for Ellen, Alex, Portia and Francesa that same ability to cry alone, under their covers, eating bad food and watching bad tv. I wish they all could do that and then walk out their respective doors and leave it, like I did, until I was ready to go back to it.
I know its wistful thinking on my part that they could handle their lives in private, too late for that but I do wish and maybe this could happen here please that you give them a break from the anger and judgement that you remember your last breakup, your last sudden relationship, your last someone leaving....and be kinder to all 4 women
Lisette.