i know asking advice isn't my usual thing...

[JetGrrl]

...but i could do with some.

there's a girl i work with. the first moment i laid eyes on her i had this feeling we'd be friends.. and we pretty quickly connected. on my birthday she wrote me a letter about how wonderful our friendship is, how close we have become. we hug.. a lot. we have this thing, where we poke each other, and try to avoid being poked, sometimes resulting in chasing each other around the office. we have a lot of fun.

most of my friends thought she was gay from first impressions. i suspected she was, though when i came out to her she said she was straight as, but is totally gay friendly. she seems to fluctuate though.. she ogles boys, and flirts constantly with them, often right in front of me although i know she suspects i like her.. and i haven't denied it when she's asked. sometimes she'll seem to pull right away from me.. but then she comes right back. a few weeks ago she stayed at my house. i checked that she'd be happy sleeping on the spare bed on my floor, because my housemates were home and would interrupt her sleep if she slept in the lounge. she replied that she wouldnt mind sleeping on my floor, and even in my bed wouldnt worry her.

a month or two before that she really confused me..
im straight right
but sometimes i just get a really close connection to you.. like more than just friends
but i know it wouldnt work because im a loser and im just thinking crazy

so i really don't know if it is something i should pursue.. i'm not even convinced that i'm not just drawn into the tease.. maybe its just because she's young (18!) and maybe she'd try it but maybe i don't want to be an experiment... maybe i don't want to corrupt her (i know, is this the same jetgrrl talking??)

i just don't know. sometimes i want to cut contact, sometimes i want to maul her.

any suggestions?

[platys]

Seems like is the same story as me and my former best girlfriend.
We end up trying to have a relationship but it doesn`t work because she cheated me with a boy,now we don`t have any contact.I lose my lover and my best friend,thats hurting me.So my suggestion, keep away from her.
Maybe she is just curios how it feels with a woman,and it would be only an experiment.
but in the end you are the one who make the decision.this was just my experience.



platys

[josieand1]

I say for each choice...

Jump her bones – May be fun but probably won’t lead to a relationship and may end your friendship. Do this only if you can deal with the consequences.
Ditch the indecisive ho – Nah, see where it goes. Unless you don’t at least want to be friends with her.
Stay friends, rule out anything more – Never rule anything out.
Stay friends, see where it goes – Choose this one unless you can’t only be friends with her.
Try to make her jealous so she comes to me – May work for the moment but probably not longer unless she really is into girls.
Drunk-kiss her and blame it on the booze – Always fun but may piss her off especially if she really isn’t into anything more than friendship.

[grneyes]

Let someone else be her experiment -then let her decide if she wants a relationship with you

[PaulaInLove]

Gosh, Jet, what's wrong with you? Where's the self-esteem?
Go for it, girl, you'll convince her that you're worth more than just an experiment. Get her drunk if that's what it takes but get a foot in the door...she'll see how awesome chicks are :-D.

And please don't tell me it's the girl in your signature cuz then I really don't know why you're hesitating here.

[JetGrrl]

Gosh, Jet, what's wrong with you? Where's the self-esteem?
Go for it, girl, you'll convince her that you're worth more than just an experiment. Get her drunk if that's what it takes but get a foot in the door...she'll see how awesome chicks are :-D.

bahahahahhahahaha oh you crack me up paula, i love you

And please don't tell me it's the girl in your signature cuz then I really don't know why you're hesitating here.

i wish :P thats ella hooper.

[PaulaInLove]

i wish :P thats ella hooper.

Ahh, the face looked familiar but I didn't know she colored her hair...I still like their album, I listen to it a lot :-D.

Do you have a pic of the chick you work with?

[JetGrrl]

i wish :P thats ella hooper.

Ahh, the face looked familiar but I didn't know she colored her hair...I still like their album, I listen to it a lot :-D.
Yeah she's been blonde for a bit now, tho I'm still partial ther her with black hair :cool:
Theres a few more pics of her and me and my mates on my myspace. There's also some of their brand new songs I recorded at their concert

Do you have a pic of the chick you work with?
I just PM'd it to you

[irock4u]

I voted for drunk kiss then you both can blame it on the booze...

I am sure there will be a Christmas party or two or three or ten... :cool:

[lr26jan]

Well with quotes like:

“im straight right but sometimes i just get a really close connection to you.. like more than just friends but i know it wouldnt work because im a loser and im just thinking crazy”

It sounds as though not only does she not know what she wants - she also has slightly low self-esteem and I’m sure you probably pay her lots of attention and she probably likes that - especially if she hasn’t got a boyfriend to pay her that attention at the moment. BUT… what happens once she gets a boyfriend? Will she suddenly stop needing that attention from you?!?

You need to ask yourself…
1. Can handle just being friends and being close to her in that way.
2. Do you want to risk losing the friendship and end up not having her in your life at all.
3. Could you handle only being an experiment - especially if she decides that women are not for her and she goes back to men… Plus, there’s a risk that you’ll lose the friendship after then anyway.

[PaulaInLove]

Do you have a pic of the chick you work with?
I just PM'd it to you

Oh my...Jet...are you going blind? Please do to her what she wants done to her :-D.

[starboarder]

i've written about a similar situation in " is anyone out there?" so maybe u should check that out some ppl had good advice.

Now honestly, i wouldnt think of urself as a lab rat to be tested on because she's exploring feelings and that happens with every relationship... isnt that what datings for???

If she is saying that it feels like more be like yeah i feel it to. If you are turning into good friends and you dont want to mess that up, wouldnt it be even better if she was more then just a good friend... i think thats a chance you should take, if you 2 are suppost to stay friends, it will happen if your not then you need to let life take its path.

Don't be scared of what could happen, if anything be scared of what might not happen.

If the girl i likes told me she feels a stronger connestion then friendship i would melt. When good opportunities come to you, take advantage... don't let it pass you by.

GooD lUCK!!!

[JetGrrl]

Don't be scared of what could happen, if anything be scared of what might not happen.

If the girl i likes told me she feels a stronger connestion then friendship i would melt. When good opportunities come to you, take advantage... don't let it pass you by.

:oha: brilliant!

reminds me of adaptation, where john says "The point is, what’s so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There’s a certain orchid, looks exactly like a certain insect. So the insect is drawn to this flower, it’s double, it’s soul-mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. After the insect flies off, it spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower not the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. How could they know that because of their little dance, the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they’re designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense, they show us how to live. How the only barometer you have is your heart. How when you spot your flower, you can’t let anything get in your way."

Oh my...Jet...are you going blind? Please do to her what she wants done to her :D.

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha :blush:

[auggiesociety]

Jetty Jetty Jetty! You and your girls! Go for it though! What's to lose?? What she said or wrote to you really sounds like she'd like to pursue something with you, but was too chicken to say what she really wants! Go for it!

[Kerry]

So how's everyone? Oh my gosh! It's been FOREVER!

I think you should go for it. She is probably scared. But there is always the first time in everything.

[DJH]

any news on this?

DJH

[divine12]

Well, Jetgirl, I'm not very good at giving advise, but I can tell you that I'm 19, and for about three years I was accused of being gay before I realized that I really am, so basiclly my friends knew before I did! She might be in a similar personal situation. Deep down she probably FIGURES that she is gay, but the definet feeling may not have totally surfaced with her. I say be patient and just make her comfortable and with time maybe she'll realize no matter what she is, you're there for her!