advice: gf & breakup

[smithy1219]

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on something and i have been thinking about it for a really long time. The thing is me and my girlfriend split up a few months ago and i found it really really hard because i loved her SOOOOO much and we just stayed as friends and i just cant seem to get over her. :-( She still means so much to me and when she talks about boyfriends (because she has gone straight now) it really hurts and i dont want to just ignore her because she wont leave me alone if i do and will just keep asking whats wrong.

I just wondered if anyone had any ideas because she is a good friend but i really want to get over her and her being around so much seems to be stopping that from happening. Any ideas would be really appreciated!!thanks.

[RosaEngel]

I think you want to get over her but you don´t really try to because you have to stop seeing her if you wanna stop loving her. there´s just no other way. if she´s around all the time it feels like it has been when you were together only that she talks about partners she has now.
you might be friends someday but not now, even if she stops talking about her boyfriend would you stop loving her? i don´t think so, sorry :(

[smithy1219]

yeah im sure your right and i tell her how i feel and she just sayes i will get over her and to give it time but i have given it time and nothing is changing. I will always love her though. sometimes i think she never loved me from what she says sometimes!!!i will move on and im sure someone else will come along who will be much better for me...i hope!!!

[RosaEngel]

there will be somebody better.
i hope you´re really gonna do that cause when you´re in love you tend to do things that hurt even though you know it´s wrong

[smithy1219]

thanks, well i have to move on at some point so why not now...it will be good for me.
thanks :)

[RosaEngel]

well, good luck then :)
you can do that

[ztifirish]

The same thing happened to me... my girlfriend and I broke up and she went back to dating men... we stayed friends and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do... I eventually got over her... but I did becasue I finally took a bunch of steps back... and I completely relate with you about how you wonder about what she felt for you... my ex did the same thing... its sucks and its going to hurt but I think the only way is to not be friends... but be strong and you will get through this... :-) How long were you together?

[soozi]

i'm actually best friends with my ex, which most people think is the weirdest thing in the world..but the only way i got to this stage was that we didnt talk for nearly a year, to give us both time to adjust to being friends instead of partners. while we still lived together (for 4 months after we split) it was the worst time of my life and thing only started to improve when we didnt talk cos then when we saw each other again we realised that we make great mates and it was easier to get back to the fun times

my point...and i do have one...is that space is the only way to get through it, you should just tell her you both need space to sort your head out and you'd appreciate it if she left you alone at the moment, and if she's your friend she'll appreciate that

[J-La]

I've found it completely impossible to stay friends with my ex. But I think it's because both of us still have feelings for each other, but there is no way to make it work. You can get stuck dwelling on the past and you have to move on. The hardest thing to do is walk away from a relationship that you've been in and not have any attachments. Because I'm sure you still care about the other person's well-being. It's not easy and most of us have all been exactly where you are at!

[smithy1219]

Hi you guys are right and i think i will talk to her and just say i need time to get over it because at the moment i cant etc...we have known each other for about 5 years and about a year and a half is the time we have been really close and together and stuff. I would have married her if she asked...i just loved her so much and she ment everything to me and made me so happy but as people say someone else will come along.

Thanks again all you guys for your comments and stuff. Its made me realise that i do need to talk to her and tell her i just need space for a while.
Smithy1219 :)