I almost came out :(

[starboarder]

Well, If any of you have read" is anyone out there?" you'd know about this little conflict i'm going through. Well its gottin a little bit weirder.
The only person who knows that i'm considering the fact that i might be gay is a therapist my mom made me talk to once, but i talked to her once, told her, and i never wanted to see her again!

Last night, i was at my friends house and we talled about everything, i told her almost every secret i have about myself, i told her, things i liked/didnt like about myself, i told her something i had lied to everyone about, and we were in her bed talking for likr 4 hours, and she kept touching me, like not sexually but just ya know comforting each other, and i told her about this sex dream i had about her, and we were both laughing, but also we were confused because neither of us had any problem with it. If fact she thought it was kinda cool lol. i guess she was flattered...

Any who, so we told me a bunch of secrets about herself, and then i told her there was one other thing, that noone knows, but i couldnt tell her, i dont know what she thinks, but i dont think she guessed that i wanted to tell her, i might be gay.

Someone said that if ur thinking about it, then there is a chance that you are gay, but i havent had alot of experience either way. I am such a vergin, it aint even funny.

Well, this little secret is getting harder and harder to keep! and i dont know what to do about it, should i go to a gay bar? Should i try to be more slutty, and see if a guy can do what i want? Any advice... i know alot of u have gone through this, and i feel like im on a sinking ship

[caaaaa]

im stumped on most of that, but i do know one thing. slutty is never the answer.

[lostioz]

Ok take a deep breath
Sinking ships always have lifeboats.
You could be gay or just going through an experimental stage.
It is ok not to be sure. Sexual orientation is not necessarily black or white. There is a lot of gray in the middle. Take your time in deciding which way you want to go.
Others don’t come out until their forties and even later, after having spent years in a heterosexual relationship.
Tell them when you feel comfortable and have the time to talk to them about your feelings, there is no need to hurry. The decision of coming out should be your own decision and you should decide by yourself when to come out.

[starboarder]

Ant the weird thing about this, is my friend, ive kinda been hinting towards it, and it makes her very happy... its kinda weird...
Example, i told her that i had this dream about her, and when i looked in my dream book to see what it ment it said fighting lesbian feels ( this was true) and she was all happy and excited, but shes dating a friend of mine, so i dont know.
Its all so weird, and shes very touchy, like we will joke around and stuff, and when we have sleep overs she always cuddles up 2 me, and really if i didnt know what she was dating my friend, i would assume some stuff lol

[beachgirl18]

I can kind of relate to what you're going through..Except i don't think of my best friend in that way..lol
I'm just like you...I'm a bit confused myself and i'm 18. It's hard when you're young.
But just Think it through and when the time is right, tell your friend. :)

[starboarder]

Yeah, im young to lol, 19... and i dont think of my friend in that way. It was just a dream... right? I was watching Ellen season 4 and the last 2 episodes of the season, and you can see in her eyes so much, its so weird. Shes so strong, and i dont think i can be with my friends or family, they joke about being gay, not as if its a bad thing, and my moms talked to me and my sister b4... just incase i guess, but i dont know. I really dont know either way right now, my mind is spinning, i wanna puke then i wanna tell then i wanna experiment, but i dont know. Honestly i just wanna move away, or get away and be someone new. But that wont do anything i guess...

[studentforlife]

god girl that last post, I know how you are feeling, oh for sure. damn it says exactly what I am thinking too, and I am 21, older than both of you, but then again I've been thinking about it seriously since I was your age or younger. but yeah all I can offer is you most certainly are not alone, but I have no advise for you sadly, I can't come up with anything for me except wait it out and hopefully I will figure it out, I guess thats the only snippet of advise I have.

[midwesta]

Ant the weird thing about this, is my friend, ive kinda been hinting towards it, and it makes her very happy... its kinda weird...
Example, i told her that i had this dream about her, and when i looked in my dream book to see what it ment it said fighting lesbian feels ( this was true) and she was all happy and excited, but shes dating a friend of mine, so i dont know.
Its all so weird, and shes very touchy, like we will joke around and stuff, and when we have sleep overs she always cuddles up 2 me, and really if i didnt know what she was dating my friend, i would assume some stuff lol


There are a lot of women that are very "touchy feely" my friend TOO That doesn't mean a thing. It just seems like your friend could just be an affectionate person and when I was 19 I could still tell the difference. I think people think about it a little too much and are too quick to put on a label. I fully accept that people like what they like or are straight or gay. I don't think that I understand why people are so confused.

[Mushanga]

maybe your mother already knows and she's just waiting for you to say it. that is what happened with me. my mother said, when i came out, i knew that.

[Elise]

The only person who knows that i'm considering the fact that i might be gay is a therapist my mom made me talk to once, but i talked to her once, told her, and i never wanted to see her again!
I also hate therapists :evil: And now they want to send me to one on my school... I but i will shut my mouth :P
All u have to know is if u tell one person everyone knows it.. I told a friend and i said please don't tell anyone and now her 'best friend' (just in one way :P ) Knows it and a lot of people i even don't know that well and they tell also other people so... almost all girls of the 4th year in de wingerd (school :P ) know i'm gay and they want to let me say it and make those remarks... And one homophobic boy of the 3rd year tells everyone and is soo rude to me... and a teacher and the director... And i even don't know if I'm gay or not... :eh:

[PaulaInLove]

Just to give you some positive material: I thought the news would spread much faster (which I thought was great since I hate to come out to people) but they still come up to me asking if I had a boyfriend at school yet. And I live in a small town.
Aaaaand, best friends make great girlfriends...