After comin out...NO MORE HUGS!!!

[Aeriana_Eve]

Alrighty!!! I came out to my friends about a few things after last summer vacation- that I've dealt with mental health issues and continue to deal with it- and that I'm gay. Ever since then, almost all of my friends haven't really cared. Which is wonderful!!! I couldn't ask more than for them to not care, and yet be sympathetic when the few places a I AM out don't end up being as awesome as them. The person I thought would reject me the most was talking to me and just said, "I don't care. Unless people are discriminatory to you, then I'll kick their asses."

But one good friend no longer hugs me anymore. She twitches when I pat her on the back, and she pulls away if I'm about to hug her. We're 16, 16 yr old girls hug!!! A LOT!!! Now I recognize that she feels awkward, but it still kinda hurts. Does anyone else have other experiences? Gawd, I hate it, but I understand how she could feel awkward.

[Humanafterall]

*big squeeze*

Darlin' you are awesome.

[LisaJr]

Good for you for being honest and finding the courage to tell your friends. That sucks outloud that your friend is afraid to hug you now. Give her some time to get used to your news though. Just like it took some time for you to accept and understand it, she probably needs the same. Or, maybe she is too questioning her sexuality and is afraid that if she hugs you she will be outed before she is ready. It's kind of a crappy excuse but give her the benefit of the doubt. If she never comes around, then how good of a friend was she in the first place? Anyway, good luck!

[Kimmy266]

Wow i feel sorry for you. I came out to my friends about a month ago (im 16 too) and they have all been so amazing, two of them even told me they were bi so they think its great! haha I thought if i came out to my bestie she would feel really weird, but amazingly she is happier that we are close enough for me to tell her things like that. Maybe your friend needs some time? I hope things get better, situations like this make me realise how lucky i was

[IHeartEllen]

My mother never hugged me in my entire life. Yes, she is still alive. And, we have a good relationship. She's not the type to show affection.

[Just_coffee]

Well...I got pretty much forced out of any closet I could have possibly made for myself, as soon as I pretty much realised it...I told like..one person and the next thing I know, the whole school knew...it was horrible....it was the freakin' eighth grade....My friends were pretty cool, though...and they continue to accept it...I did, however, have to put up with a lot of questions, through grade 8 and 9...but now, it's just like...a known thing...so...yeah...that was a rather long and pointless babble......


Anywho, hun, she'll probably get over it...maybe you should tell her how you feel torwards the situation...it might help.

[petal]

I came out to a good friend just 10 days ago - I was scared...........no petrified, but it was the best thing ever!!!! I felt like I could take on the whole world after that...but.......I think I can only cope with small steps !!!! :)

It does depend on the person/people that you tell - some do have a problem coping with "shock news" like this, & even the girl that seems to reject you at the moment - just give her time. I'm sure she still cares very much for you as a friend but she is most likely dealing with her own issues.

[Ronja]

I came out to a good friend just 10 days ago - I was scared...........no petrified, but it was the best thing ever!!!! I felt like I could take on the whole world after that...but.......I think I can only cope with small steps !!!! :)

OH...I know that feeling sooo well. *big hug*

That hugging thing...I think some people are just not that comfortable with it. It's the same as hugging a man who doesn't know that I am gay. If he knows he is alright with it...but otherwise it's weird. So the same with women...but the other way round. (that's my experience)

[socalisa]

While coming out for the first time to your friends is probably one of the most frightening and exciting things you will do, it is a process you will continue to go through for the rest of your lives. It takes a lot of guts to face it when you are young and in high school but, being one who did that very same thing 19 years ago, I can say that it will not likely be a decision you regret. It will allow you a lot of personal freedom in the years to come. Most people who love/like you will not be phased by your sexuality - they may see you in a different light, but that doesn't have to be bad! For those who don't accept you or who treat you differently, you just have to remember that it's not you that they are having a hard time understanding or accepting, it's purely their own feelings about how they "perceive" you that haunt them.
:)

[tanpau]

I came out a couple of yrs ago. Had a really weird buddy not minding hugs at all. On the contrary, she was just to keen to get into my pants.... :cry:

[socalisa]

Yeah, there's that possibility as well. :oops:
I find it amazing how many of my "straight" girlfriends are interested in women. I think, when it comes down to it, most humans are trysexual anyway, in the deepest, darkest corners of our interior...

[midwesta]

Yeah,my friend came out to me when I was 15 and I was kinda like that too. I guess it's just the demeanor of a 16 year old kid. Well at least some,but it could be worse. I can't explain it,but I wasn't trying to be rude or childish. I eventually grew up that summer. I needed to mature a little I guess.

[tanpau]

Yeah, there's that possibility as well. :oops:
I find it amazing how many of my "straight" girlfriends are interested in women. I think, when it comes down to it, most humans are trysexual anyway, in the deepest, darkest corners of our interior...
I have a friend that always gets involved with straight girls. I don't think it's intentional, but this poor chick gets her heart broken time after time.

[tanpau]

Yeah, there's that possibility as well. :oops:
I find it amazing how many of my "straight" girlfriends are interested in women. I think, when it comes down to it, most humans are trysexual anyway, in the deepest, darkest corners of our interior...
I have a friend that always gets involved with straight girls. I don't think it's intentional, but this poor chick gets her heart broken time after time.

[Kimmy266]

*all round hugs for everyone*

I think that was needed lol :)

[huggy]

:) hugs from huggy, too.

[Ellen_portiafan1]

Well...I got pretty much forced out of any closet I could have possibly made for myself, as soon as I pretty much realised it...I told like..one person and the next thing I know, the whole school knew...it was horrible....it was the freakin' eighth grade....My friends were pretty cool, though...and they continue to accept it...I did, however, have to put up with a lot of questions, through grade 8 and 9...but now, it's just like...a known thing...so...yeah...that was a rather long and pointless babble......


Anywho, hun, she'll probably get over it...maybe you should tell her how you feel torwards the situation...it might help.

OMG, I went through the exact same thing. In eighth grade i came out as bisexual, and i only told my closest friends and one of them told a huge gossiper and it went throughout the whole school. so i definatly feel for you. But last year in ninth grade i came out as being gay and no one really cared. it felt great. and my friends were behind me the whole way.

[andrea_dutch_ellen_fan]

While coming out for the first time to your friends is probably one of the most frightening and exciting things you will do, it is a process you will continue to go through for the rest of your lives. It takes a lot of guts to face it when you are young and in high school but, being one who did that very same thing 19 years ago, I can say that it will not likely be a decision you regret. It will allow you a lot of personal freedom in the years to come. Most people who love/like you will not be phased by your sexuality - they may see you in a different light, but that doesn't have to be bad! For those who don't accept you or who treat you differently, you just have to remember that it's not you that they are having a hard time understanding or accepting, it's purely their own feelings about how they "perceive" you that haunt them.
:)

i feel same like you...

not everyone knows yet.. but i slowly started telling a few people... like my dad, some close friends..and they all accept it and they are happy for me that i found my real self.. and i am really glad i told them because now i dont have to keep it a secret when i like some girl/woman and can talk about my feelings to someone..

my very best friend doesnt know it yet.. i am afraid to tell her because of some reactions she sometimes gave me when i asked her about several gay things.. it probably will take a while to tell her.. but i will get there...

its is a hard time.. but you will feel glad when you have told people...

[socalisa]

While coming out for the first time to your friends is probably one of the most frightening and exciting things you will do, it is a process you will continue to go through for the rest of your lives. It takes a lot of guts to face it when you are young and in high school but, being one who did that very same thing 19 years ago, I can say that it will not likely be a decision you regret. It will allow you a lot of personal freedom in the years to come. Most people who love/like you will not be phased by your sexuality - they may see you in a different light, but that doesn't have to be bad! For those who don't accept you or who treat you differently, you just have to remember that it's not you that they are having a hard time understanding or accepting, it's purely their own feelings about how they "perceive" you that haunt them.
:)

i feel same like you...

not everyone knows yet.. but i slowly started telling a few people... like my dad, some close friends..and they all accept it and they are happy for me that i found my real self.. and i am really glad i told them because now i dont have to keep it a secret when i like some girl/woman and can talk about my feelings to someone..

my very best friend doesnt know it yet.. i am afraid to tell her because of some reactions she sometimes gave me when i asked her about several gay things.. it probably will take a while to tell her.. but i will get there...

its is a hard time.. but you will feel glad when you have told people...

Brava, Andrea. It's nice to be able to come here and realize that so many other people have gone through similar experiences, isn't it? The world is so different than when I came out. There was no internet, no chat rooms, no Ellen, or Melissa, or Rosie, or Doogie Houser...lol. Even Martina was still closeted. The only gay icon I had to look up to was Gertrude Stein, and let me tell you, to a 16 or 17 year old kid, she's a little hard to get excited about. After reading the "Well of Loneliness," the ONLY book I could find that even smacked of anything sexually deviant left me feeling like I wanted to slit my wrists. The title alone guaranteed a frustrating and cumbersome read.

:-) Thank goodness for the information superhighway! :-)

[andrea_dutch_ellen_fan]

While coming out for the first time to your friends is probably one of the most frightening and exciting things you will do, it is a process you will continue to go through for the rest of your lives. It takes a lot of guts to face it when you are young and in high school but, being one who did that very same thing 19 years ago, I can say that it will not likely be a decision you regret. It will allow you a lot of personal freedom in the years to come. Most people who love/like you will not be phased by your sexuality - they may see you in a different light, but that doesn't have to be bad! For those who don't accept you or who treat you differently, you just have to remember that it's not you that they are having a hard time understanding or accepting, it's purely their own feelings about how they "perceive" you that haunt them.
:)

i feel same like you...

not everyone knows yet.. but i slowly started telling a few people... like my dad, some close friends..and they all accept it and they are happy for me that i found my real self.. and i am really glad i told them because now i dont have to keep it a secret when i like some girl/woman and can talk about my feelings to someone..

my very best friend doesnt know it yet.. i am afraid to tell her because of some reactions she sometimes gave me when i asked her about several gay things.. it probably will take a while to tell her.. but i will get there...

its is a hard time.. but you will feel glad when you have told people...

Brava, Andrea. It's nice to be able to come here and realize that so many other people have gone through similar experiences, isn't it? The world is so different than when I came out. There was no internet, no chat rooms, no Ellen, or Melissa, or Rosie, or Doogie Houser...lol. Even Martina was still closeted. The only gay icon I had to look up to was Gertrude Stein, and let me tell you, to a 16 or 17 year old kid, she's a little hard to get excited about. After reading the "Well of Loneliness," the ONLY book I could find that even smacked of anything sexually deviant left me feeling like I wanted to slit my wrists. The title alone guaranteed a frustrating and cumbersome read.

:-) Thank goodness for the information superhighway! :-)

hahah yeah the internet is cool. it is good to be on here and talk to some people. and it is great that we have ellen!! haha. She is gorgeous and really makes people happy. she beautiful inside and outside.

[h0llzie]

I came out to a couple of my friends last weekend,
I still get hugs, I still am invited to sleepovers
and I we still crac gay jokes which as it turns out
was the one thing they were worried about incase
they insulted me.