I came out today...

[12BR]

I came out today to my mum (d person i least expected to in the whole world). I dunno if i made a mistake.

Our relationship weren't the strongest but she surprisingly took it calmly and said her love and support for me will continue. (Contrary to what i imagined) But i know she's not too receptive when she suggested i do not think abt this issue n seek a therapist. I can feel she's very sensitive with her choice of words too.

I dunno if i did the right thing. I am still financially dependent on her (though she asked me after the come out if i have enuf $ ) What if she changes her mind, did i just kicked myself???

Anyway i went against the common 'guides' to coming out, urgh... Telling her over the phone and when i am so $$ dependent on her.

At first i felt a sense of relief after this surge of bravery... now i am panicking...

O.M.G

[pasikonik]

Don't expect her to be loving and understanding immediately. Give her time; yourself also! Of course u did the right thing! And being financially dependent on parent has NOTHING to do with changes in relationship after coming out - at least - it shouldn't have.
Btw, are u under 18? Or maybe u're still studying? - then she is obliged to help u financially.
It'll be fine!

mental support mode on

~ania

[politico]

First of all, congratulations on taking a very brave step! Part of your angst might be due to the fact that you did this over the phone and couldn't see the emotion in her face or her body language. It is possible that what you are imagining is much worse than how things actually are. I would suggest calling her again in a couple of days just to check on how she is doing. Explain that you realize that you understand that she was probably taken by surprise and that she may need to talk about it more with you (or maybe with someone else). You need to make sure she knows that you are okay and that sharing it with her was important to you. Let her know that one of the most difficult parts of discovering that you are gay is trying to hide it from the people you care about.

Sitting around and worrying about how she may be taking the news is not any good for you. Will you have an opportunity to she her soon? It might be scary, but might very well do a lot towards making you both more at ease with the situation. GOOD LUCK!!!

[smithy1219]

Wow you are SO brave!!! I have often thought about comming out to my parents but i really couldnt so i think thats amazing that you have. Your be ok and dont panic. After awhile things will sink in and for parents to find out there child is gay can be a bit of a shock...or one hell of a shock really in some cases but its something that they will have to learn to accept just like we have to learn to accept the way we are. Congratulations by the way and good luck. :)

[Magnolia]

Congratulations on taking such a big step. It's so important for everyone to live authentic lives, whether it be sexual orientation or career. Sometimes it's scary as hell to take any step that is leading you to authenticity. But just remember nothing is chasing you except for well-being.

[XxEllenRocksxX]

i totally agree with you, Magnolia. it's important to live your life honestly and be proud of who you are. it is hard being different though. i am gay myself and it's hard just accepting that you are gay, but then you also have to put up with all the hate and non-acceptance of other people, which is hard. i havnt fully come out as a lesbian yet.. i have told my mum i think im gay but she doesn't know for sure.. and i havn't told anyone else like my friends or anyone. man it's going to be so hard coming out properly, im not looking forward to that day :( but anyway i fully support you, 12BR in coming out to your mum :) it must've been really hard and i admire you for that :D

[12BR]

Thanks! for all yr encouragement. I only have the courage because Ellen and so many of you here have demonstrated that being gay is not the most interesting part of ourselves and we can be strong and live positively and spread positive energy each day.

A little complication came up when I talked to my mum. Seems like my dad has overheard bits n may have figured out. But that in a way also took a load off my mind (cos I really dread telling him personally). Though he's open-minded compared to many dads his generation, he can be rather conservative when it comes to these issues.

Well I am studying postgrad in Sydney (wonderful place I must add) now, so when it's time to return home,hopefully I can draw more inner strength. I will keep yr well-wishes to warm my heart. Thanks ppl :)

[petal]

http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p184/petal_bucket/welcome-7.gif

You have had the courage to come out to your Mum - congrats!!! I saw you introduced yourself in another thread but thought you deserve an official rainbow welcome on your own thread kiddo.

[ellen_go_bragh]

Congratulations! You did a brave thing, you faced your fear, I admire you for that too cos I find it hard to talk about being gay.

It's wonderful that you told your mother, it should really strengthen your relationship with her because she will know that you are being honest with her even when its hard for you and that is a BIG thing. You're still the same daughter, only more honest and open. Well done, every time one of us takes a step like that a little bit of ignorance and fear is broken down. The people who are close to us can see that being gay is not something to be ashamed of and not something to hide. Someone they are close to is gay-that makes a big difference.

Today I want to talk about coming-out with my family-wish me luck!

Again, well done, honesty with the people you care about is so important but can be so hard at first. I think you did the right thing.