Are you gay?

[scully4ever]

Just curious :D

[searching007]

sigh. my answer to the poll is the first time ive admitted it to myself. i feel a little better :)

[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

Straight as an arrow, but who cares. All we need is love.

[DGenX]

most of de time i'm strait as a 'lampost'.......other times ..... :? ....heck being happy is all dat matters.....rite now i need sleep :sleepy:

[i_love_ellen]

im straight,but like AnastasiaBeavrhausen says who cares.we all have one thing in common- we love ellen! after all thats why we joined the site :)

[genelee16]

there's "sometimes" ? ? ?

what that?

[jlilest]

there's "sometimes" ? ? ?

what that?

Perhaps it covers those that are not always one or the other, but are not undecided.

[tanpau]

there's "sometimes" ? ? ?

what that?

Perhaps it covers those that are not always one or the other, but are not undecided.

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

[scully4ever]

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

That´s what I meant...kind of :D

[tanpau]

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

That´s what I meant...kind of :D

In the good old days, those use to get me in a LOT of trouble :D

[scully4ever]

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

That´s what I meant...kind of :D

In the good old days, those use to get me in a LOT of trouble :D


:lol: :lol:

[DGenX]

[quote=tanpau]

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

That´s what I meant...kind of :D

In the good old days, those use to get me in a LOT of trouble :D


these days.....still do :P :P

[Loopy_loo]

None of the above.

[tanpau]

[quote=tanpau]

Or maybe it's when straight girls have one too many.....

That´s what I meant...kind of :D

In the good old days, those use to get me in a LOT of trouble :D


these days.....still do :P :P

Speak for ureself, I'm behaving myself very nicely these days :-D

[scully4ever]

None of the above.

What does that mean?? I´m a little scared now :lol:

[lostioz]

I think you have to add bisexual to your poll

[lostioz]

and OBJECTOPHILIA of course ;)

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,482192,00.html

[Elli]

and OBJECTOPHILIA of course ;)

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,482192,00.html

Oh my... 8O What an article!!!

[scully4ever]

Oh man...what the hell?!

>"...Others are sexually aroused by musical instruments or buildings..."< :cry: ?????????

[beachgirl18]

Oh man...what the hell?!

>"...Others are sexually aroused by musical instruments or buildings..."< :cry: ?????????

LMAO!! Ok, that's a little weird! :lol:

Anyways, i'm straight..But i'm not saying i would never switch over..lol There are many gorgeous women out there that would def. turn me gay. :lol:

[Elli]

Anyways, i'm straight..But i'm not saying i would never switch over..lol There are many gorgeous women out there that would def. turn me gay. :lol:

For example? :lol: :lol:

[tanpau]

Oh man...what the hell?!

>"...Others are sexually aroused by musical instruments or buildings..."< :cry: ?????????

LMAO!! Ok, that's a little weird! :lol:

Anyways, i'm straight..But i'm not saying i would never switch over..lol There are many gorgeous women out there that would def. turn me gay. :lol:

thats the spirit :cool:

[beachgirl18]

Anyways, i'm straight..But i'm not saying i would never switch over..lol There are many gorgeous women out there that would def. turn me gay. :lol:

For example? :lol: :lol:

Haha, Angelina Jolie, Gillian Anderson, Diane Gaidry..just to name a few! ;-)

[Liva]

yeah, I think you really need to add "bisexual" to your poll too, because it would be my answer.. and now I have to go - sometimes, and it confuses me a bit :P :cool:

[DGenX]

and OBJECTOPHILIA of course ;)

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,482192,00.html

i haven't heard of dat......imagine havin a fetish for your laptop or mouse or coffee cup 8O totally weird....tks for the article .... 8O 8O

[futureangels]

No. Butttt...... I like Ellen a lot! She's so funny and I think she deserves the greates woman to be with and that's Portia *in my opinion* :D. I'm in love with their relationship...it's so adorable!

[lostioz]

and OBJECTOPHILIA of course ;)

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,482192,00.html

imagine havin a fetish for your laptop 8O totally weird....tks for the article .... 8O
does it sound weird? I know some good examples but that's another story.
Scully, will you add bisexual to your poll? I think some other people would like to vote on it.

[PaulaInLove]

and OBJECTOPHILIA of course ;)

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,482192,00.html

imagine havin a fetish for your laptop 8O totally weird....tks for the article .... 8O
does it sound weird? I know some good examples but that's another story.
Scully, will you add bisexual to your poll? I think some other people would like to vote on it.

At least fall in love with something practical like a banana or a dildo....

[lostioz]

At least fall in love with something practical like a banana or a dildo....
you're kidding. I heard some people may get aroused by webcams, did you know that? You can move your up again. The Shakira background music was just perfect.

[M_aym]

Yep, I'm gay :P ;)

[scully4ever]

Scully, will you add bisexual to your poll? I think some other people would like to vote on it.

I would but if I´m editing my poll I`m afraid I will delete all the votes that have been cast already. ?????
How do I do it??
If I want to edit the poll I have to rewrite every poll option again and I think that it would delete the already given votes, wouldn´t it?

[moefish]

At least fall in love with something practical like a banana or a dildo....
you're kidding. I heard some people may get aroused by webcams, did you know that? You can move your up again. The Shakira background music was just perfect.

just make sure that the banana is not too ripe, cause then it gets mushy and that just makes a mess :)

[tanpau]

At least fall in love with something practical like a banana or a dildo....
you're kidding. I heard some people may get aroused by webcams, did you know that? You can move your up again. The Shakira background music was just perfect.

just make sure that the banana is not too ripe, cause then it gets mushy and that just makes a mess :)

Moefish,I sense first hand experience :lol:

[Loopy_loo]

What i meant by none of the above, is because i also believe u fall in love with a person not necessarily a gender. thas all lol. dont panic. im not a freak ! :D

[judeuk]

I agree sometimes you just fall in love with the person not the gender

[XxEllenRocksxX]

yeah i'm gay :oops: :)

[PaulaInLove]

At least fall in love with something practical like a banana or a dildo....
you're kidding. I heard some people may get aroused by webcams, did you know that? You can move your up again. The Shakira background music was just perfect.

just make sure that the banana is not too ripe, cause then it gets mushy and that just makes a mess :)

Oh baby, don't I know it :-).

[midwesta]

There's also people who just like who they like. They don't really go with the gay,straight,bi "label" or label (whichever one you may use). Including me. People think I am crazy because I am not attracted to Ellen,but I do find her funny.

[ijssy]

Yeah, I'm gay. And proud of it;) Now it for five years now. Next friday I'm going to tell my best friend finaly. :-D

[searching007]

well im kinda gay.. :oops: to my friends, i'm bi until i'm brave enough to tell them otherwise, though i know they would be totally cool with it. i'm never going to tell my parents because they would never accept it and it would make things waaaaay full of tension and awkward. i'm going to college in the fall so we'll see how things turn out there...i joined the gay pride club.. wow it was a big step to sign up for that.

sorry for the rant :P

[Vea_hearts_Ellen]

Yeap, Im Gay and prOud Of it.. Well, I haven't tOld ma parents yet.. will sOOn dO I hOpe.. but Other then that, everyOne knOws Im gay :-P

[midwesta]

I like what I like,but I mainly stick to people.

[Mellen]

Yeah i'm gay and proud of it . :-D

[Kooky_UK]

Hey!
Yep i'm gay...but haven't come out to ma family yet. Any advice? :?

[jellies]

gay, but do have the ocasional boy crush...ryan gosling my latest! whats that about??

[Stephie22]

*Raises Hand *

Yep I`m Gay. But dont came out yet.

[smithy1219]

Yeah, sure am gay! Most people know other than my family and a few people I know that I would not trust if they knew. Now i accept myself I would not change it either. :)

[marbled]

I dont suggest coming out as I dıd once it and my family didnt want to accept the truth.In my opinion they want me to keep it as a secret and always refuse.It ıs hard but what can I do

[Mushanga]

i'm gay and totally out. almost 12 years with my girlfriend (and 11 years living together). so it's hard not to be out, lol

[Bacardigirl]

Yes I'm gay, got married to my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. :-P [/b]

[Mushanga]

Yes I'm gay, got married to my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. :-P [/b]

congrats on your marriage.

[Stephie22]

[quote=Bacardigirl]Yes I'm gay, got married to my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. :-P [/b]

He thats very cool.Congrats to your 3 years.Hope it last forever... :)

[Bacardigirl]

Hopefully it will. My parents didn't agree with the wedding, they wouldn't go. Life is for living and I'm living it my way :-P

[Stephie22]

Hopefully it will. My parents didn't agree with the wedding, they wouldn't go. Life is for living and I'm living it my way :-P

oh thats sad that your parent dont agree with your wedding and your sexuality ( If I get this right ...)

But your totally right with your last sentence... :)

[Bacardigirl]

Mum didn't speak to me for 18 months when I came out, she accepts me now but still hopes its a faze and I will find a man and have babies, that will never happen :)

[Elli]

[quote=Bacardigirl]Yes I'm gay, got married to my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. :-P [/b]

He thats very cool.Congrats to your 3 years.Hope it last forever... :)

I want to second what Stephie said!!!! Congrats to your 3 years!!!! :) :) Hope it'll last!!!!

[Stephie22]

Mum didn't speak to me for 18 months when I came out, she accepts me now but still hopes its a faze and I will find a man and have babies, that will never happen :)

thats really sad.But I think now that you are married she see that its not a faze....

How old are you, if I can ask...!?

[Bacardigirl]

I'm 41 and wife is 54, she is my one and only lesbian partner

[Stephie22]

I'm 41 and wife is 54, she is my one and only lesbian partner


thank you for answering.thats cool that you find the true Love.

[tanpau]

Hey!
Yep i'm gay...but haven't come out to ma family yet. Any advice? :?
Hi Kooky_UK I could tell you how I let my family in on my little secret, but I would not advise anybody to do that. Especially if your 82 year old granny is at the dinner table.....

[jellies]

Yes I'm gay, got married to my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. :-P [/b]

yay, congrats. go anywhere nice for honeymoon?

[Kooky_UK]

Hey Tanpau.
OK now i'm defo intrigued as to what happened to you :?
Luv Kelly

[amirightladies]

I don't really know, I mean I have feelings for both.....but I can't see myself being with a man...I always want to be able to wrap my arms around and woman a share my life with her....I think I am

[madeph]

I'm straight but i love gay people. To be honest, they're the nicest people in the world (and a few creepy ones tho. lol). I think at every place i've worked (working), I'm friends with a gay coworker. To be more honest, i thought otherwise when i was a little younger. Hmmm...i dont know how straight i am though. I have never told anybody this but i'get weird dreams about me and a girl in a romantic situation (not sexual though). I'm a hopeless romantic so i dunno. Anybody wanna help read into it? I have girl crushes..like i adore funny AND good looking women. But i know i'm attracted, emotionally and sexually, to men. I'm allowed to have girl crushes once in a while, right? And i LOVE "LOVE", hence im inlove with E/P's relationship. :D

I can only imagine how hard it is to come out to your parents and such. Props to you all! :)

[trinelise3]

I`m staright. but i like the relationship betwen Portia and Ellen. And i thyink it dosen`t matter who you love as long you ae happy.

[Bacardigirl]

Jellies

We went on honeymoon to Florida.

[orsetto]

Hi!I'm gay since i was 14,not totally out but all my family knows,so i think that I've already done the most important step...
and sorry if my english is not very correct...

[Sabine86]

I'm gay but I'm not really out although I know it for about 6 or 7 years. Just a few friends know that I'm gay...I'm still scared to tell my parents.

[orsetto]

I'm gay but I'm not really out although I know it for about 6 or 7 years. Just a few friends know that I'm gay...I'm still scared to tell my parents.

hope you'll find the courage soon....

[HeavensAngel332]

I don't really know, I mean I have feelings for both.....but I can't see myself being with a man...I always want to be able to wrap my arms around and woman a share my life with her....I think I am

I feel the same way, I get diffrent feelings from both. I kinda dont like guys in general, but in the way that there gross and rude and cheat all the time, sorry guys out there. But a woman with another woman *happy sigh* You connect more, you know? There more compassionate, sweeter, lovable...but hey, I'm only 15, what do I know, I'm still in the process of knowing who I am.

[Debje]

I don't know either...

today 2 friends of mine came up to me and they said, 'you know that girl who was our classmate 3 years ago, she came out the closet today' and they're laughing and everything making a joke of it and I had to go with them because I don't want to feel stupid or something, it was weird, because maybe if I'm gay and tell them they're going to make a joke of it too, or whatever....

[tennisFan]

I had a similar situation debje. But as soon as i told my friends they were different and they even apologised for being insensitive. Its totally different when u hav a close friend who is gay because you then realise they are your friend no matter what. Hopefully everyone finds this.

[xmaryx]

firstly @ tennisfan, you live really close to where i live, im just down the A34 from you, i dont actually live in oxford i live in east hagbourne village near didcot :)

as for the question, are you gay: yep, im a card carrying member, hehe, initially i didnt really come out a such, everyone at school kinda assumed i was gay because of my demeanor :P and i went to a girls school :P but i find that coming out ongoing, you know when you meet knew people, start a new job etc...

[tennisFan]

hey xmaryx
it is an ongoing process i know what you mean i'm just glad that the majority of my time is spent with great accepting people. I've been up and down the A34 four times in the last 24 hours, was crazy today. i seem to attract idiot drivers around me.

[linda76]

Well since this thread's been bumped back into play again, I answered 'sometimes'. :lol:

I got married to my husband prior to me figuring out I'm gay (with a question mark). As soon as it dawned on me, everything made sense (stuff like my first crushes.... oh, THAT'S what that was :oops: ). But it didn't change the fact that I'm still in love with my husband, so it's rather confusing, and I think it makes me a more complex person. :eh:

[loz]

yep im gay, but my parents dont know, no one knows about it actually. Im still coming to terms with the whole thing because it only really dawned on me that im gay when i was 16 (i was 17 in August), despite the fact that i have pretty much known i was "different" to everyone at school since i was 12. The idea of coming out kinda terrifies me because i know that mum is just going to go crazy when i tell her.

[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

I'm straight but love everyone no matter what... Treat others the way you would want to be treated... :)

[sleepyuk]

Yes i am. this is my g/f on the pic, we have been together for over 6 years, those 6 years have been the happiest of my life, although she lives in missouri, and l live in the uk, we see each other 4-5 times a year and otherwise are on the phone or the internet 24/7. soon l will be moving to the usa forever, it has all taken careful planning and of course money, but when your in love nothing can stand in its way, although we had our times, we always got through because of the deep love we have for each other, watch this space for an announcement one day of moving over there!!! untill then, l have my love to keep me warm, and nothing else will do, for all of you out there that are confused by being gay, try not to worry, the world is starting to accept us, and one day it will all be fine, meanwhile take babysteps as you travel along an unsure path, if its for you, you will know it, if its not, then equally you will know, good luck..... love peace and happiness.

Trudy

[roxyrocks]

let see... yes i'm gay. knew it since 6th grade, however i hid it from everybody thinking they wouldn't understand me. last year i came out to my brother, then to my cousin who are both teenagers. they're happy for me. then to the ladies at work, and they don't care they still treat me the same. then i came out to my family 4 months ago, sad to say that i haven't spoken to them ever since. i'm just giving them time to understand. but other than that, i'm HAPPY.

[3llen]

well.. i personally see no difference between gay and staight people so it doesnt really matter to me, i love everyone the same :P and i also hate putting a "label" but there is no other way i can say it so to answer the question im straight..

[M4K2]

Nope, Im straight but im jst in love with both Ellen and Portia and i really hope that they can b together forever =)

Here in Egypt, there arent alot of gays and lesbians around thats why whenever i travel anywhere (and i do that ALOT) i just keep looking for gay couples...im facinated by the idea :-D

Im like: hmmm...maybe this girl is gay :P To me there is jst no way i can ever be sure, call it a lack of experience maybe :lol:

[Joey123]

yep, i'm gay
i told a few friends yesterday and they were all fine with it but i'm not gonna tell my parents because they won't like it.

But i am very happy being gay, no matter what happens
:D

[i_love_ellen]

not gay,but totally c-r-a-z-y over e&P's relationship!and i have absolutely no problem with gay people,i see no differences b/w straight people and gay people,and personally i don't understand why anyone would find it wrong.i hate the fact that there are so many people struggling with shame when there isn't anything to feel ashamed about,and to everyone struggling with understanding themselves i really hope you find what's right for you and what makes you happy coz life is short....live it for yourself....not other people :)

peace.

[untitled]

Not sure :?
Wondering about my orientation...........i'm attracted to girls starting from the age of 12........there are a lot of girl crushes, mostly one-sided feeling :oops: :oops: .........never been in a real relationship before.........but last three years ago, i had a feeling for one guy, but not serious one.............other than that, i'm into girl............still confusing about myself :? :?

[EllenNRossiforever]

yep i'm gay... :)

[sweden]

not gay,but totally c-r-a-z-y over e&P's relationship!and i have absolutely no problem with gay people,i see no differences b/w straight people and gay people,and personally i don't understand why anyone would find it wrong.i hate the fact that there are so many people struggling with shame when there isn't anything to feel ashamed about,and to everyone struggling with understanding themselves i really hope you find what's right for you and what makes you happy coz life is short....live it for yourself....not other people :)

peace.

I couldn't agree more :) Wish that people would just realize that the world would be such a better place without all the hate.

[The_Oscar]

I don´t care whether somebody is gay or not. The most important things, that he/she is happy.

[Tolaoi]

I don´t care whether somebody is gay or not. The most important things, that he/she is happy.

yes thats the true...beeing loved thats the most inportant thing

[stoner]

Don't know if I have answered this question yet, but to use a quote that our favourite funny lady is always credited with although she actually never said it: Yep, I'm gay. ;)

[photo-nut]

Don't know if I have answered this question yet, but to use a quote that our favourite funny lady is always credited with although she actually never said it: Yep, I'm gay. ;)

Like what Oprah said to Ellen on the puppy episode....

Good for you stoner, you're gay! :D

I'm glad we will have a mix of gay and straight people going on our October trip. I think it's a good example to others to see how easy it is to be friends with each other. Gay and straight, we can still be good friends. We're all human and we can still have a lot in common. I think Ellen has proved that.
.........11 days and counting to TEDS !!!

[i_love_ellen]

.........11 days and counting to TEDS !!!

excited....much?!?! :Dlucky-dukling.if i was you i would be all of these at the same time::banana::woh_wacky::woh_chatterbox::disc_rofl mao:

[The_Oscar]

.........11 days and counting to TEDS !!!
I would be so excited, hope you´ll enjoy it very much.

[stoner]

Like what Oprah said to Ellen on the puppy episode....

Good for you stoner, you're gay! :D

I'm glad we will have a mix of gay and straight people going on our October trip. I think it's a good example to others to see how easy it is to be friends with each other. Gay and straight, we can still be good friends. We're all human and we can still have a lot in common. I think Ellen has proved that.
.........11 days and counting to TEDS !!!

Thanks, photo-nut! :D

And I agree, I'm glad we have a mix of gay and straight people meeting in October. There was a time when almost only gay people visited Ellen's shows, she jokes about this in one of her HBO specials ('Seriously, if you're here, you're probably gay.') I'm happy for her that she has a much bigger and diverse audience now.

[Ellen_portiafan1]

Yep, I'm gay and proud of it. All of my friends know and my mom, except she doesn't believe me...oh well. Won't she be shocked when I have a girlfriend. lol. And I was looking back on this thread and that banana thing is weird...use a cucumber instead.
:d_wink::d_laugh:

[Catwomin]

How many people from this site are going to TEDS? I'm thrilled for all of you:d_biggrin: It's Oct. 2nd right? Make sure to keep us all posted.

[Aslan]

totally gay over here :D
everybody knows, except for my family, but i think they just don't wanne know :p

[3llen]

not gay,but totally c-r-a-z-y over e&P's relationship!


me too! :D im not gay but im IN LOVE with ellen and portia! although as i said i see no difference in gay or straight people.. we are all the same, we all love whoever we want to love and thats whats important :D:)

[LisaJr]

Not gay, but not opposed to the idea. You love who you love right?

[incrediblolo]

I'm bi but I'm more attracted to women then guys. I'd say 80% gay :p

[untitled]

I'm bi but I'm more attracted to women then guys. I'd say 80% gay :p

Wow....i really like your answer:)......couldn't agree more:p:D

[Stephie22]

Yep , I`m gay :D

But only my friends knows . My Family doesnt know it. I wanne come out If I have a Girlfriend. But If they wanne see the "signs" , they must allready know it...;) maybe they just dont wanne see it.....

But I think my Mum would be cool with it.....

[debby]

yep i´m gay and totally out of the closet. everybody is fin with it and i have the best girl you can imagine! i never got any real bad reaction and my family loves my girlfriend. i´m happy as can be:p:d_cute:

greeeetz from germany!

[untitled]

yep i´m gay and totally out of the closet. everybody is fin with it and i have the best girl you can imagine! i never got any real bad reaction and my family loves my girlfriend. i´m happy as can be:p:d_cute:

greeeetz from germany!

I'm happy for you.....and i'll say you're one lucky lady.

[YesIam]

Yes I am, gay i mean. I have always known that i like girls. When i was 6 i told my father that i want to marry a girl when i grow up. Everybody knows that i am gay . My family, friend and everybody at work. I think that everybody that sees me on the street knows, because the way i look, i look like a boy and i behave one. :cool:

[sansoucci]

Personally I don't see things as black and white when it comes to attraction and sexuality I think it's mostly shades of grey. So I'm somewhere in the grey areas in between. I hope I make sense :confused:!

[3llen]

Personally I don't see things as black and white when it comes to attraction and sexuality I think it's mostly shades of grey. So I'm somewhere in the grey areas in between. I hope I make sense :confused:!

i understand what you are trying to say! lol :D

[OhItsKAAAthy]

Not really sure what my answer to this question is......I know that this is not a new dilemma for alot of you on here, but I could use someone to bounce some things off of in PMs if you have some experience in this area.

Thanks

[blueangel]

YEP- ole ole- i`m a gay-person... - and i`m happy :)

[tedsmaniac]

100% out and proud for 41 years ,always have been gay .out to everyone including familly, friends and co-workers .still looking for the great love of my life though .;)any takers ??
teds

[blueangel]

100% out and proud for 41 years ,always have been gay .out to everyone including familly, friends and co-workers .still looking for the great love of my life though .;)any takers ??
teds

where is MY LOVE of my life... :(

[tedsmaniac]

she is out there somewhere ,never give up trying to find her but dont let it make be the soul purpose of your life ,it will make you crazy .took me a lonnnnnnnnnng long time to figure this out .all good things come in due time .
teds

[joleen51]

Hey everyone! I am pretty new here and I just wanted to tell someone me and my girlfriend! It all started a little over a year ago when my best guy friend introduced me to this girl he works with and her name was Wendy. So one night Wendy went out to eat with us and some other people and we all had a lot of fun. At the time I didn't even think about falling in love with her or anything of the sort because I never thought I would be with a girl. Anyways a couple weeks later we all went back to school (different colleges) and when Wendy would come home she would always hang out with me and Jeremy (my guy friend) We always had a really fun time and soon Wendy I became best friends. I don't know when I started feeling attracted to her but I spent New Years Eve at her house once I got off work at like 7. So I went to her house and hung out and what not and then I fell asleep on the couch with my head in her lap and she was playin with my hair. I loved it! New Year's Day I had to work in the morning so I went to work but I ended up gettin sick so I left work and went back to Wendy's house and spent the day with her. It was so much fun! I think from that day on we really started growing attracted to each other even though both of us didn't think we would fall for a female.

Anyways, things progressed slowly and then on March 8th we finally had a talk about what was happening and we both agreed that we wanted to be together but we couldn't tell anyone because it would not be a good thing (we live in the Midwest and come from very conservative families) So for almost 7 months now we have been together and it has been amazing! She is the best thing that has ever happened to me by far. I am so lucky to have her in my life and I don't know what I would do without her. We go to schools three hours apart so I don't get to see her often during the school year. She is coming to visit me this weekend at school and it will have been three weeks since I have seen her! I cannot wait!

Sorry this is so long, I just had to tell someone about her because it's hard for me to keep it inside and not be able to talk to anyone about my girlfriend. I would really like someone to talk to about things because this is all so new to me and I just want to share stories and stuff with someone who is in a similar situation or just anyone that wants to talk! So if anyone wants to talk then just PM me! Please!

[LadyDeath91]

Hey everyone! I am pretty new here and I just wanted to tell someone me and my girlfriend! It all started a little over a year ago when my best guy friend introduced me to this girl he works with and her name was Wendy. So one night Wendy went out to eat with us and some other people and we all had a lot of fun. At the time I didn't even think about falling in love with her or anything of the sort because I never thought I would be with a girl. Anyways a couple weeks later we all went back to school (different colleges) and when Wendy would come home she would always hang out with me and Jeremy (my guy friend) We always had a really fun time and soon Wendy I became best friends. I don't know when I started feeling attracted to her but I spent New Years Eve at her house once I got off work at like 7. So I went to her house and hung out and what not and then I fell asleep on the couch with my head in her lap and she was playin with my hair. I loved it! New Year's Day I had to work in the morning so I went to work but I ended up gettin sick so I left work and went back to Wendy's house and spent the day with her. It was so much fun! I think from that day on we really started growing attracted to each other even though both of us didn't think we would fall for a female.

Anyways, things progressed slowly and then on March 8th we finally had a talk about what was happening and we both agreed that we wanted to be together but we couldn't tell anyone because it would not be a good thing (we live in the Midwest and come from very conservative families) So for almost 7 months now we have been together and it has been amazing! She is the best thing that has ever happened to me by far. I am so lucky to have her in my life and I don't know what I would do without her. We go to schools three hours apart so I don't get to see her often during the school year. She is coming to visit me this weekend at school and it will have been three weeks since I have seen her! I cannot wait!

Sorry this is so long, I just had to tell someone about her because it's hard for me to keep it inside and not be able to talk to anyone about my girlfriend. I would really like someone to talk to about things because this is all so new to me and I just want to share stories and stuff with someone who is in a similar situation or just anyone that wants to talk! So if anyone wants to talk then just PM me! Please!

Aww that story is just great!!
Im so happy that u both are happy!!!:D

Why does that never happen to me? haha :uglyconf: bad luck

[untitled]

Hey everyone! I am pretty new here and I just wanted to tell someone me and my girlfriend! It all started a little over a year ago when my best guy friend introduced me to this girl he works with and her name was Wendy. So one night Wendy went out to eat with us and some other people and we all had a lot of fun. At the time I didn't even think about falling in love with her or anything of the sort because I never thought I would be with a girl. Anyways a couple weeks later we all went back to school (different colleges) and when Wendy would come home she would always hang out with me and Jeremy (my guy friend) We always had a really fun time and soon Wendy I became best friends. I don't know when I started feeling attracted to her but I spent New Years Eve at her house once I got off work at like 7. So I went to her house and hung out and what not and then I fell asleep on the couch with my head in her lap and she was playin with my hair. I loved it! New Year's Day I had to work in the morning so I went to work but I ended up gettin sick so I left work and went back to Wendy's house and spent the day with her. It was so much fun! I think from that day on we really started growing attracted to each other even though both of us didn't think we would fall for a female.

Anyways, things progressed slowly and then on March 8th we finally had a talk about what was happening and we both agreed that we wanted to be together but we couldn't tell anyone because it would not be a good thing (we live in the Midwest and come from very conservative families) So for almost 7 months now we have been together and it has been amazing! She is the best thing that has ever happened to me by far. I am so lucky to have her in my life and I don't know what I would do without her. We go to schools three hours apart so I don't get to see her often during the school year. She is coming to visit me this weekend at school and it will have been three weeks since I have seen her! I cannot wait!

Sorry this is so long, I just had to tell someone about her because it's hard for me to keep it inside and not be able to talk to anyone about my girlfriend. I would really like someone to talk to about things because this is all so new to me and I just want to share stories and stuff with someone who is in a similar situation or just anyone that wants to talk! So if anyone wants to talk then just PM me! Please!

Cool.....i'm happy that you both are happy together...........hope that the same thing will happen to me one day..........now i just keep on waiting & waiting:(:o

[joleen51]

Thanks guys! Wendy is coming tomorrow and I cannot wait to see her and hold her! This weekend is going to be great!

[3llen]

Thanks guys! Wendy is coming tomorrow and I cannot wait to see her and hold her! This weekend is going to be great!

aww thats so sweet im happy you're happy! lol i LOVE stories like this! SO sweet.. :p

[socalisa]

Yep, I'm still gay.

Gay, Gay, Gay as the day is long.

[Ana Matronic]

I'm a bisexual girl but I reckon, on the way to being completely gay. I do have A LOT of confusion, but I guess that's the part of growing up and realising who you are. I'm also out to everyone and confident.

Love Ellen to bits!!

xxxx

[joleen51]

Wendy came to visit me and we had a great weekend! It went by way to fast though :-( We went out to dinner Friday and then watched a movie at my place. Then Saturday our friend Jeremy came up and took pictures of us for his photography class. I am excited to see them once he gets them developed! Then Saturday night Wendy and I went out for dinner again and to a movie and today we slept in, went to eat breakfast and then she had to go back to school :-( Even though it didn't last long it was still great! I'm going to see her this next weekend at her school so I will get to see her again soon!

[untitled]

Wendy came to visit me and we had a great weekend! It went by way to fast though :-( We went out to dinner Friday and then watched a movie at my place. Then Saturday our friend Jeremy came up and took pictures of us for his photography class. I am excited to see them once he gets them developed! Then Saturday night Wendy and I went out for dinner again and to a movie and today we slept in, went to eat breakfast and then she had to go back to school :-( Even though it didn't last long it was still great! I'm going to see her this next weekend at her school so I will get to see her again soon!

Cool:cool::cool:......you're lucky to have the one you love........all the best!

[Mushanga]

eventhough i'm out the closet for 17 years i just realized something: there is always the first time you come out, but ............ everytime you meet new people, start a new job or move to another town you have to come out. but it gets easier to say you're gay. you come out a lot of times in your life. the first time is the hardest and then it gets easier.

[3llen]

the first time is the hardest and then it gets easier.

thats for everything in life :)

[stakon88]

yeah im gay. i told all my freinds in high school a couple of years ago but waited to tell my parents til i actually had a girlfriend. well actually they worked it out the first week we were together. it was such a relief, they were totally cool with it.

[loveisfluid]

Yeah I'm gay, came out when I was 17 to my friends and my mum, then when I got with the girl I'm with now I decided to tell my dad, who was completely fine with me being gay. Made me look really stupid for waiting 2 years to tell him. But it's all good.

[JamieLove]

I am Gay and I am Out (never been realy In but that's an other story)

[Whisper]

Yes and 50/50 on the being out thing.

[socalisa]

10-19-2007 - Still gay....:)

[sweden]

not gay,but totally c-r-a-z-y over e&P's relationship!and i have absolutely no problem with gay people,i see no differences b/w straight people and gay people,and personally i don't understand why anyone would find it wrong.i hate the fact that there are so many people struggling with shame when there isn't anything to feel ashamed about,and to everyone struggling with understanding themselves i really hope you find what's right for you and what makes you happy coz life is short....live it for yourself....not other people :)

peace.

Totally agree with you, Natasha! :D

[maddog]

I'm OUt & PROUD:D

[ellenuk]

yes i am gay and in the process of coming out. came out some of my uni friends at my graduation ball on friday and they were pretty cool about it but im sure it wont be long before the rest of them know.

[Whisper]

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_love_ellen
not gay,but totally c-r-a-z-y over e&P's relationship!and i have absolutely no problem with gay people,i see no differences b/w straight people and gay people,and personally i don't understand why anyone would find it wrong.i hate the fact that there are so many people struggling with shame when there isn't anything to feel ashamed about,and to everyone struggling with understanding themselves i really hope you find what's right for you and what makes you happy coz life is short....live it for yourself....not other people

peace.

Totally agree with you, Natasha!


Sadly being gay goes against "conventional" thoughts and the way people think life should go, thats why there are some who stay in unhappy relationships because the thought of how they will be accepted if they say to heck with convention, and be true to themselves, live the way they want to live. Your Right, life is too short, but its not easy either. To me, people whom get on their soap boxes about gay people need to look in their own backyards sometimes. We are who we are, because some of us are out and others aren't the respect for all and how they choose to live is always someone elses idea of wrong, never ours tho we are sometimes made to feel it.Some communities we find ourselves living put huge pressure on gay people live, when all they want is what others have, a respected lifestyle.Just an opinion. Wish there were more people round like you too.

[Branwen]

100% Gay :D I have more hangups on my other issues...being gay has never been one of them (well not for at least 7 years or so lol)

And i just realised whilst i was reading the posts, i've been out over 10 years now!!! WOHOO!!! Does that mean i'm no longer a baby dyke!? LOL

[HeavensAngel332]

100% Gay :D I have more hangups on my other issues...being gay has never been one of them (well not for at least 7 years or so lol)

And i just realised whilst i was reading the posts, i've been out over 10 years now!!! WOHOO!!! Does that mean i'm no longer a baby dyke!? LOL

Last bit made me laugh :D Congrats on the 10 years of being out! Thats a big accomplishment!!

[Branwen]

Last bit made me laugh :D Congrats on the 10 years of being out! Thats a big accomplishment!!

Awww thanks hon:-) friends of mine used to say that i was a Baby Dyke all the time but i think it has something to do with my lack of height (i'm 5 foot) lol cause they were saying it and i'd been out 8 years!!! LOL

We have Pride on this weekend in Perth. Pride is our city's GLBT event of the year with a Parade and then Party (well Parties really...depending on who/what/where/when and how you want to be). It's one of the busiest night's of the year for the city :-) My gf and i aren't going cause we're at armpit level and also tend to get hit in the head by over zealous queens (some of you will so know what i'm talking about! LOL) But we still get into the spirit! And <happy sigh> this time next week, we'll be jumping up and down cause Indigo Girls are playing!!!! YEAH!!!!

So....HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!!! :-)

[petal]

So....HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!!! :-)

We have FEAST starting on 10th November (til 25th) - are you coming over for it???

[Branwen]

We have FEAST starting on 10th November (til 25th) - are you coming over for it???

I saw FEAST was kicking off soon :-) Not this year hon...i had 3 months over there earlier in the year and i think my gf would kill me LOL We will make it over one year tho cause FEAST never kicked off until after i blooming well left Adelaide!!!

[judithio]

not sure. married and happy. but fantasize about women all the time. am attracted to lots of women! what do I do?

[maddog]

not sure. married and happy. but fantasize about women all the time. am attracted to lots of women! what do I do?

Follow your heart I say!!!


HAPPY HAPPY PRIDE BRANWEN.


I have been lucky enough to attend both over the years, but not this year

[petal]

I have been lucky enough to attend both over the years, but not this year

What state are you from Maddog?

Yes, very happy Pride to you Branwin, your g/f & everyone in WA!!!!! Enjoy!!!!!

[Whisper]

not sure. married and happy. but fantasize about women all the time. am attracted to lots of women! what do I do?

Follow your instincts and heart, don't wait to wake one day and live with the thought you have lost too many of the good years to do what makes you happy.

[studentforlife]

Hey, I already posted here ages ago under this topic but I was just reading through and the phrase baby dyke caught my eye and I've heard it before, but I don't know what it is... can anyone enlighten me?

[drummonger]

Dyke is a word that I personally do not like. It seems derogatory to me.

[maddog]

Hey, I already posted here ages ago under this topic but I was just reading through and the phrase baby dyke caught my eye and I've heard it before, but I don't know what it is... can anyone enlighten me?


Young Lesbian.

Personally dyke doesn't bother me, dyke/lesbian means women who love and fall in love with and have relationships with women.

Im a proud dyke :D My motorbike number plate is DYK 01

[mazzerd]

I just came out to a couple of friends. My whole body is shaking :confused:

[zoeak]

I just came out to a couple of friends. My whole body is shaking :confused:

Been there. For years, every time I came out to someone, I would just shake. It's the weirdest feeling, literally my teeth would be rattling inside my mouth, and I couldn't seem to help myself. It's gotten better, though, now it only happens (and much more controllably so) with people I've gotten to know "well" who somehow haven't caught the clues and I have to sit them down and tell them. And thankfully the number of such aquaintances gets smaller every time.

Congratulations on coming out!! :xmas_27:

[Humanafterall]

I haven't come out to any of my friends from High School....that was 10 years ago.

i remember 10 years ago a couple of friends were bringing me home. One of them was a bi-sexual and dang proud of it to. We were having a discussion about the possibility of one of our teachers being gay. and our friend said "She can never come out in this small town". and they both looked at me....

I almost told them "I'll come out when I'm good and ready" but i wasn't sure how to describe to myself the feelings I had toward the friend who is bi-sexual. I thought I felt the way I did, because I was uncomfortable. Ten years later, I now know...better.

Saturday, one of my high school friends who I haven't seen in two years is coming to visit me, with her boyfriend. I want to tell her.

I'm nervous to tell my friends from high school for some reason, maybe because they knew me from "way back then". I don't know. I want to tell them...because i just do.

My immediate family and one of my aunts, and one family friend know. They just want me to be happy.

I am completly different from what i am online, I mean I am shy. When it really matters. :( It took me 23 months and 7 days to "come out" online.

[jjjoan]

I haven't come out to any of my friends from High School....that was 10 years ago.

i remember 10 years ago a couple of friends were bringing me home. One of them was a bi-sexual and dang proud of it to. We were having a discussion about the possibility of one of our teachers being gay. and our friend said "She can never come out in this small town". and they both looked at me....

I almost told them "I'll come out when I'm good and ready" but i wasn't sure how to describe to myself the feelings I had toward the friend who is bi-sexual. I thought I felt the way I did, because I was uncomfortable. Ten years later, I now know...better.

Saturday, one of my high school friends who I haven't seen in two years is coming to visit me, with her boyfriend. I want to tell her.

I'm nervous to tell my friends from high school for some reason, maybe because they knew me from "way back then". I don't know. I want to tell them...because i just do.

My immediate family and one of my aunts, and one family friend know. They just want me to be happy.

I am completly different from what i am online, I mean I am shy. When it really matters. :( It took me 23 months and 7 days to "come out" online.
well, good for u! u are gay!:cool::D

[maddog]

Well done all you brave peps :xmas_27:.
Its never easy to come out.

[xmaryx]

Well done all you brave peps :xmas_27:.
Its never easy to come out.

I agree, congrats peeps - babysteps and you will get there

I've 'come out' so often now when i meet new people that when i meet new people it isnt a problem, as if they dont like me for being gay then they're not worth knowing. recently i subtely came out again at work as i had to put next of kin on my medical form and so i put my gf :)

[Whisper]

I'm a bit late in the stakes as far as coming out is concerned,not as young as the majority of people on this board, but I came out to my brother at the weekend while staying with him. Told him about my partner, he cried, while giving me a massive cuddle, he cried because he was happy I had finally found someone who meant so much to me.He is now keenly waiting to meet her.

I think Mushanga was so right when she said you are forever coming out, but I know for me, I don't come out to everyone, its none of anybodies business what other peoples sexual preferences are, the most important factor is to be happy. Though I understand the need to come out to certain people.

[JamieLove]

To be honest You never stop coming out.... There's always new ppl coming along on you pat, that you'll have to inform eventuely when they become close friends... Unless you're calling 'Ellen Degeneres' ofcourse. LOL! But than there still might be ppl not knowing about her.... They where on an other planet or maybe just on some desert island on earth. LOL:hammer::d_biglaugh:

[irock4u]

That's why i keep gay friends only:D no coming out....LOL

[Soulcage]

Hi folks!

Yep, I'm gay. And I agree with you, you just keep coming out. like, for example, last night... that was kind of embarrasing. I went to a club with a male friend and two guys chatted me up after they realized that he's not my bf. Then, as we went dancing, one of the guys got a little too close for my liking so I told him I was gay (but I had been trying to tell them for an hour already, I'm just not good at saying it straight forward). He didn't understand it because the music was too loud. So I almost shouted at him "I'M GAYYY!!!" And, of course, the music had just stopped playing... :xmas_19:

[maddog]

So I almost shouted at him "I'M GAYYY!!!" And, of course, the music had just stopped playing... :xmas_19:

Omg poor you, its a lillte funny though:p

[vanblue2003]

i'm out to my mom, 2 of my closest friends, my 2 aunts, 4 cousins, and online hehe.

but i'm still not comfortable enough to say it to whomever.

its like Ollie says on nip/tuck: it takes a strong individual to be gay in this world, a strong personality. ain't that the truth! :rolleyes:

[HeavensAngel332]

i'm out to my mom, 2 of my closest friends, my 2 aunts, 4 cousins, and online hehe.

but i'm still not comfortable enough to say it to whomever.

its like Ollie says on nip/tuck: it takes a strong individual to be gay in this world, a strong personality. ain't that the truth! :rolleyes:

Good quote! :D

[xirtam]

I almost shouted at him "I'M GAYYY!!!" And, of course, the music had just stopped playing... :xmas_19:

thats like movie:)

[maddog]

thats like movie:)

It sure is :D

[edfan24]

I can't remember if I posted here or not.. But whatever.

I would say i'm somewhere between being bi, and being gay...


There's this thing called the Kinsey Scale

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html

There's a couple of tests:

http://www.technostud.com/public/newsite/klein.html
http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=4827

Anyway it's kind of interesting.

Based on that I'd be between 4 and 5.

[xmaryx]

I can't remember if I posted here or not.. But whatever.

I would say i'm somewhere between being bi, and being gay...


There's this thing called the Kinsey Scale

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html

There's a couple of tests:

http://www.technostud.com/public/newsite/klein.html
http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=4827

Anyway it's kind of interesting.

Based on that I'd be between 4 and 5.

i studied the kinsey scale at school...i would say im a good ole 6 , nice n gay :p

[edfan24]

:D


According to the first test I'm a 4.5

Which is right, I'd say

[zoeak]

Gives me a 5.6. What do my straight friends have to do with my sexuality? Or I'd be a good ole 6 too... :p

[petal]

Thanks so much for including the Kinsey scale links edfan24!! I'm a big believer in his research & conclusions.

I'm a 4.8 & that's about right!! :)

[Humanafterall]

According to the scale I'm a 6.3.

[zoeak]

Thanks so much for including the Kinsey scale links edfan24!! I'm a big believer in his research & conclusions.

I'm a 4.8 & that's about right!! :)

What exactly was Kinsey all about? (I could look it up myself, but what do you think are the most important aspects of his research?)

My friends and I always talk about sexuality on a 1-100 greyscale (like percentage) where 0 is entirely straight and 100 is entirely gay, and most people fall somewhere in between... and we've been doing that since long before we ever heard about Kinsey.

[petal]

What exactly was Kinsey all about?
My friends and I always talk about sexuality on a 1-100 greyscale (like percentage) where 0 is entirely straight and 100 is entirely gay, and most people fall somewhere in between... and we've been doing that since long before we ever heard about Kinsey.

This is the Wikipedia version of Kinsey's life & sexual studies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Kinsey

His books were released in the 1950s (very conservative times of course) so took many years before his studies were finally accepted & then included on school curriculums.

[maddog]

The test makes me a 6, (I really didn't need a test to tell me that :D)

[dks]

And here comes my 4.3. Stuck in the middle as usual. lol

[LisaJr]

Maybe this isn't the place to post this but I just need to rant for a minute. Seriously, what is with girls! I think it was Shane from the L Word that said girls are emotionally retarded. I'm starting to believe it! This girl totally pursued me even though I put up quite the barrier. But she flipped my world upside down, I went head over heels for her. And then all of the sudden, she got scared and shut down. She walked completely out of my life in a matter of two days. And the worst part is, she still has my heart. How does this make any sense?! Can someone please, please explain girls to me. :confused:

[zoeak]

Maybe this isn't the place to post this but I just need to rant for a minute. Seriously, what is with girls! I think it was Shane from the L Word that said girls are emotionally retarded. I'm starting to believe it! This girl totally pursued me even though I put up quite the barrier. But she flipped my world upside down, I went head over heels for her. And then all of the sudden, she got scared and shut down. She walked completely out of my life in a matter of two days. And the worst part is, she still has my heart. How does this make any sense?! Can someone please, please explain girls to me. :confused:

Sorry. Wish I could, but I can't. Girls are weird. I'm sorry to hear she did that to you, though... :mad:

But if you like comfort in numbers, you should watch Michelle Paradise's Worst Date Stories (http://www.afterellen.com/blog/sarahwarn/michelle-paradise-video-blog-dating-stories) (if you haven't already) to have it confirmed that you're not the only one to come to the conclusion that girls are strange. (I especially thought of the girl who dated this other girl for some time, and then after they slept together the first time, the next morning the girl ran screaming from the room begging Jesus for forgiveness...)
http://www.afterellen.com/blog/sarahwarn/michelle-paradise-video-blog-dating-stories

If someone else can explain girls, though, I'm all ears too!

[LisaJr]

Or, maybe someone could explain how to get over them. I've gone through breakups before. But this one hurts like no other.

[kaaaaaaaaka]

let me ask u guys a question. can u be gay and proud without being out? cuz i am gay and i am proud, i wouldnt want to be straight at all, but i am not out to anyone except you guys...

ive been wanting to come out to my sister for a while but i never do it! i just dont want to plan it, i guess. i want it to just come out(:)) when were talking about...something! i dont really know how to explain it...like if she'd ask me if there was a boy i liked, then i would tell her: no because im gay! something like that but i know i would probably get scared and i would not say it:( i want to go to a gay bar but i cant get the courage to do it, not because its a gay bar but just going to bar by myself kinda scares me... i dont know any gay people so ur the only ones i can actually talk to about this (i luv u guys!!:)) it really helps me to come on this site and read about, well pretty much anything lol

[LisaJr]

Kaaaa, you and I are pretty much in the same boat. I'm not really "out" either. All of my friends are straight and quite honestly, I don't think they would understand if I told them. But I think you'll know when the time is right to tell your friends. Personally, I plan on just "showing up" with my girlfriend. (Well, that was my plan...) But it isn't really a matter of discussion, I think.

Good luck to ya.

[zoeak]

let me ask u guys a question. can u be gay and proud without being out? cuz i am gay and i am proud, i wouldnt want to be straight at all, but i am not out to anyone except you guys...

ive been wanting to come out to my sister for a while but i never do it! i just dont want to plan it, i guess. i want it to just come out(:)) when were talking about...something! i dont really know how to explain it...like if she'd ask me if there was a boy i liked, then i would tell her: no because im gay! something like that but i know i would probably get scared and i would not say it:( i want to go to a gay bar but i cant get the courage to do it, not because its a gay bar but just going to bar by myself kinda scares me... i dont know any gay people so ur the only ones i can actually talk to about this (i luv u guys!!:)) it really helps me to come on this site and read about, well pretty much anything lol

I'm out to a lot of people, but not everyone. Mostly because I'm not someone who spontaneously shares any kind of personal information, but if someone asks, or the subject comes up (or I think a particular situation is getting way too straight), I always answer honestly.

Being out can be difficult, I don't know a lot of gay people in my (tiny) town either, and a lot of straight people, while not necessarily homophobic, are still a little weird around the subject and don't know how to talk about it in a relaxed way. Which can sometimes be annoying and frustrating, but by talking to them about it, they learn more, and it gets easier.

As long as you're proud of who you are and can look yourself in the mirror, that's the important part, and you have no obligation to tell anyone. I'm having a bit of a dilemma myself, because I'm not out at work (middle school teacher) and the idea of being out to my students scares me. A lot of them are awesome, and would most likely be great about it, but there would also most likely be a lot of crude comments and stuff, and it scares me. At the same time I'm ashamed of my fear, and hate the kind of message it sends that it's something to be ashamed of, that should be hidden. And I can't get over either, at the moment... :(

[lemon]

What a shame that it should make any difference about how people feel about those who are gay. Everyone should be the same. Some just love the same sex person. Some day this will be as normal as heterosexual relationships I hope. Ellen has been a wonderful example of how great and wonderful and normal this can all be.
All the best to those of you who need to come out. May it be a wonderful and peaceful experience when the world accepts us all!!!!!!!!

[kaaaaaaaaka]

[quote=LisaJr;148394] Personally, I plan on just "showing up" with my girlfriend. quote]

thats exactly what i want to do! just showing up at a party or something with my gf and introduce her as my gf! they would probably flip out(not in a bad way i think)! but i wont have a gf if i dont get over the fear of coming out because it sends the message that im not okay with being who i am, even tho i am...:confused:

anyways thanks for your comments everyone!!:)
luv ya! xxx

Kat

[irock4u]

kaaaaaaaaka i want to go to a gay bar but i cant get the courage to do it, not because its a gay bar but just going to bar by myself kinda scares me...

Yeah, I understand that statement a lot that was me 14yrs ago hard to believe i finally came out and it was 14 yrs ago:eek:... I did not like going out by myself and was in the military and didn't want to be associated with know lesbians people talked badly of them all the time (i was scared). i was so in denial to come out it was unreal. I befriended another soldier and she slowly told me she was gay and moved in for a kiss and with my nervous crackling voice stated i was not gay...(nerves) LOL... but she did not give up and the next day i was in my room with her and about to leave and she pushed the door closed spun me around and kissed me:) that was it for me...everything soon melted into place. Now, if anyone has the courage to ask i tell them but i don't volunteer the info. I am a private person and don't think i have to run around telling every one i am gay being gay does not make me who i am:) I think i came a long way but others would disagree...
Anyways...my point hang in there and eventually everything will fall into place when you least expect it.:cool:

[xpective]

just a thought: I don't think straight people are given enough credit. No one thinks they can handle it. I'm from the second most conservative city in the US (seriously, it's scary, you guys-Salt Lake City, Utah is more liberal) and all my friends are fundamentalist Christians (I even went to a Christian college)... and I realized I was gay about a year ago and it took me until November to start talking about it.... but all of my ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christian friends blew me away with their love and support. Times are changing and if you're talking to anyone under the age of thirty, being gay is like telling someone "I really like Thai food". And maybe I've been lucky but I think it's important to talk about it with people you can trust... so even coming out to this forum is a big step and I'm proud of all you guys for being open here if it's not possible to be open in general. Everything's going to be alright.

It may take a while but I'm convinced that, before I die, no one will even remember that gay couples couldn't get married. Kids will go to school and their teacher will tell them "once upon a time, way back in the day... like, thirty years ago.... people were crazy and, Tommy, you know what? (what?) Thirty years ago, your mommies couldn't have been married. And Sarah, your dads couldn't have been married (kids: NO WAY!) Yes, way... and now look at all of us... people can decide for themselves what it means to be a family and we can all drive to work in oxygen powered hover cars! What a wonderful time to be alive!"

[kaaaaaaaaka]

yeah i agree with u 100%!! as far as im concerned, im not afraid to be rejected by everyone cuz i know that they wouldnt!! but there is still a fear of something..i dont really know what it is tho...it sucks...

[xpective]

yeah i agree with u 100%!! as far as im concerned, im not afraid to be rejected by everyone cuz i know that they wouldnt!! but there is still a fear of something..i dont really know what it is tho...it sucks...


Do you think it's awkward just because it's sex? It's private, between two people (usually) and the most vulnerable and intimate thing human beings do... so saying that you're gay is the sort of like if midwestern housewives had to tell coworkers that they're into role-playing where they're Sandy the Squirrel and their husband plays Spongebob... is reveals something about your private life that has no relevance to your relationship with your coworkers and is potentially embarrassing.

Being out is important because people who don't know anyone who's gay have all these preconceived notions and knowing "oh hey, so and so's gay and I never would have guessed it and I like them" helps break down stereotypes... at the same time, it's personal and I don't think it should be something everyone needs to know.

So, yeah, the fear seems to come more from being personal and vulnerable than from actual threat (that exists, sure, but less and less all the time). It would be cool if it could be a non-issue and I hope it will be as civil rights catch up to reality... but I bet there will always be a little discomfort just because it's revealing something personal (and risking being misunderstood).

[kaaaaaaaaka]

Do you think it's awkward just because it's sex? It's private, between two people (usually) and the most vulnerable and intimate thing human beings do... so saying that you're gay is the sort of like if midwestern housewives had to tell coworkers that they're into role-playing where they're Sandy the Squirrel and their husband plays Spongebob... is reveals something about your private life that has no relevance to your relationship with your coworkers and is potentially embarrassing.

Being out is important because people who don't know anyone who's gay have all these preconceived notions and knowing "oh hey, so and so's gay and I never would have guessed it and I like them" helps break down stereotypes... at the same time, it's personal and I don't think it should be something everyone needs to know.

So, yeah, the fear seems to come more from being personal and vulnerable than from actual threat (that exists, sure, but less and less all the time). It would be cool if it could be a non-issue and I hope it will be as civil rights catch up to reality... but I bet there will always be a little discomfort just because it's revealing something personal (and risking being misunderstood).

:astonished:wow! ive never looked at it that way!! i think you might be right about that!! im also afraid that my girl friends are going to think im looking at them differently, like i'd want to "get them into bed" or something...
but thanks a lot, your comment really helped me!:)

[petal]

Do you think it's awkward just because it's sex? It's private, between two people (usually) and the most vulnerable and intimate thing human beings do... so saying that you're gay is the sort of like if midwestern housewives had to tell coworkers that they're into role-playing where they're Sandy the Squirrel and their husband plays Spongebob... is reveals something about your private life that has no relevance to your relationship with your coworkers and is potentially embarrassing..............
So, yeah, the fear seems to come more from being personal and vulnerable than from actual threat (that exists, sure, but less and less all the time). It would be cool if it could be a non-issue and I hope it will be as civil rights catch up to reality... but I bet there will always be a little discomfort just because it's revealing something personal (and risking being misunderstood).

Yes!!!!!!!!!!! This is so true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts xpective. I've linked this thread to a few friends of mine as we are continually discussing this topic & it's brought something new into the mix - very thought provoking. :)

[JamieLove]

For the K. Scale to me it came up to 6.8....

For the out part.... I am quite out... Not that I would say it to everyone... But if the question pups up... I don't hide it...

Now sometimes I do am scared of ppl reacting badly... It has happened before... And I have been victim of homophobic agression 6 nearly 7 years ago.... Sometimes when men reacts like "Are you sure", "maybe you haven't tried the good one", "try with me" and more of this .... Than my stomac sturs up and I would feel paniced and I would just live the place instantly, without saying anything...

The thing is I have never dated men, never! I have never been interested neither... Neither attracted...

From very young age my ideal was Daryl Hannah... I saw her in the movie Splash playing 'Madison' the mermaid.... I told my mum I was going to save her and marry her!!!!
http://www.celebrities.pl/daryl_hannah/daryl14.jpg

After that It changed for Kim Basinger of which the poster who was in my room for ages ended with a white patch in the mouth area... This from kissing her good night and good morning...

And than it changed to Sharon Stone!!!

[kaaaaaaaaka]

yeah i know what u mean! i had a boyfriend for a month when i was like 15 years old so i dont really think it counts (im the one who ended it btw, i didnt really like him, still dont)!! and when i saw titanic for the first time and my friends were hung up on leo i had a little,i mean big crush on kate(i still do she is gorgeous;))!!

[taliootz]

well im rather confused to be honest. I'm almost 22 and ive never had a bf or gf. I have always been attracted to guys, like even when i was younger i was always interested in guys at school, you know whos hot etc! :p

Over the last year tho ive been questioning that because when i was younger and thru school etc, i only ever paid attention to my attraction to guys in terms of their physical appearance, i never really thought about being with them in any sort of intimate, sexual manner. Now tho i still may find a guy physically attractive, but if i think about being with them sexually, it doesnt do a thing for me whatsoever.

The other thing that confuses me is im not generally attracted to women, i mean i may see a beautiful woman and acknowledge her beauty but i wouldnt see myself being 'with' her unless i knew she was gay also. Yet im attracted to openly 'gay' women such as those we are all fans of and some that i believe are still closeted ;)

It's all very confusing for me. When i start thinking about it too much i just tell myself, the way i'll know for sure if im truly gay is when i have a sexual experience with a guy and a woman. That will tell me instantly if it feels right. Theres no way i can determine this in my head.

Hopefully one day that will happen, cos after all im almost 22, im getting old!! HA:rolleyes:

Talia

[maddog]

What a shame that it should make any difference about how people feel about those who are gay. Everyone should be the same. Some just love the same sex person. Some day this will be as normal as heterosexual relationships I hope. Ellen has been a wonderful example of how great and wonderful and normal this can all be.
All the best to those of you who need to come out. May it be a wonderful and peaceful experience when the world accepts us all!!!!!!!!

I totally agree, being gay is like being born with blue eyes, centuries ago their wasnt homosexuals, the word was made last century to make laws easier to lock up gays. We are all humans, its a damn shame we are considered different when we r not. We are all sexual beings, thats all. No big deal really. But unfortunatly this society makes out like its wrong. Stupid really!!!

Gay or not the only one who needs to know what you feel is you and your partner ;)

[maddog]

Sometimes when men reacts like "Are you sure", "maybe you haven't tried the good one", "try with me" and more of this .... Than my stomac sturs up and I would feel paniced and I would just live the place instantly, without saying anything...



This is what annoys me too :(

[zoeak]

And I have been victim of homophobic agression 6 nearly 7 years ago.... Sometimes when men reacts like "Are you sure", "maybe you haven't tried the good one", "try with me" and more of this .... Than my stomac sturs up and I would feel paniced and I would just live the place instantly, without saying anything...

Hate that. I have a child-hood friend that I re-connected with a few years ago, and I could tell that he was sort of interested. I made sure to come out to him right away while he was still on the 'testing the waters' stage and hadn't gotten to outright flirting, and while he accepted it just fine, every once in a while we'll talk and complain that we're both single and he'll be like 'you sure you're not interested in men, just a little?' and make like he's just kidding, but you can tell there's some truth to it. The last time he did that, I told him I knew two great gay men who were both single, and was he sure he wasn't at all interested in men, just a little? And he was like 'eww, gross, not at all' (*sigh*), but it shut him up good and proper and he hasn't asked me about it since! :rolleyes:

[Scissor_Sister87]

Do you think it's awkward just because it's sex? It's private, between two people (usually) and the most vulnerable and intimate thing human beings do... so saying that you're gay is the sort of like if midwestern housewives had to tell coworkers that they're into role-playing where they're Sandy the Squirrel and their husband plays Spongebob... is reveals something about your private life that has no relevance to your relationship with your coworkers and is potentially embarrassing.

Being out is important because people who don't know anyone who's gay have all these preconceived notions and knowing "oh hey, so and so's gay and I never would have guessed it and I like them" helps break down stereotypes... at the same time, it's personal and I don't think it should be something everyone needs to know.

So, yeah, the fear seems to come more from being personal and vulnerable than from actual threat (that exists, sure, but less and less all the time). It would be cool if it could be a non-issue and I hope it will be as civil rights catch up to reality... but I bet there will always be a little discomfort just because it's revealing something personal (and risking being misunderstood).

Wow, I think you've hit the nail on the head.
That's exactly how I felt about coming out to my dad, and why I'm dreading telling the rest of my family, it's just so damn awkward and embarassing!

[maddog]

Hate that. I have a child-hood friend that I re-connected with a few years ago, and I could tell that he was sort of interested. I made sure to come out to him right away while he was still on the 'testing the waters' stage and hadn't gotten to outright flirting, and while he accepted it just fine, every once in a while we'll talk and complain that we're both single and he'll be like 'you sure you're not interested in men, just a little?' and make like he's just kidding, but you can tell there's some truth to it. The last time he did that, I told him I knew two great gay men who were both single, and was he sure he wasn't at all interested in men, just a little? And he was like 'eww, gross, not at all' (*sigh*), but it shut him up good and proper and he hasn't asked me about it since! :rolleyes:

Good one :D;)

[mazzerd]

Good one :D;)

I second that ;)

[Holla1968]

When Men - who just met me, Find out that I'm Gay - They always say the same thing(s)

1. I'm a Lesbian trapped in a man's body.:d_sleep:

2. Well, You haven't been with a REAL man.:wallbash:

3. What a waste.:d_no:

4. What happened to You that made you "turn-out" Gay? :mad_s13:


Where I work the TV is on....on Ellen, Of course.

They Like Her...They describe her as "HOT" And claim they can "Change Her, too" :hammer:

ANYWAY.........:kaffeetrinker_2:

I'm NOT male bashing...Just simply asking..............

[maddog]

When Men - who just met me, Find out that I'm Gay - They always say the same thing(s)

1. I'm a Lesbian trapped in a man's body.:d_sleep:

2. Well, You haven't been with a REAL man.:wallbash:

3. What a waste.:d_no:

4. What happened to You that made you "turn-out" Gay? :mad_s13:


Where I work the TV is on....on Ellen, Of course.

They Like Her...They describe her as "HOT" And claim they can "Change Her, too" :hammer:

ANYWAY.........:kaffeetrinker_2:

I'm NOT male bashing...Just simply asking..............

I get ya, sad, societies bullsh!t does this to people. Like we all grew up with the presure that gays are wrong, bad, discusting, sinners etc, etc. Wake up people, think for yourselves. Stop being brain washed by a homophobic society.

[untitled]

My answer is not sure.
I did confuse about my sexuality and still confusing……i’ve never dated a man or woman before….but when i was young(around 11 or 12), my first crush is a girl……after that, followed by more crushes for girls…..just one side feeling from me, and i don’t have a real relationship with them….i tried to woo them, but they simply reject me:(…..i was born and raised in very conservative place……there aren’t many gay people around…..whenever i watch a movie, I’m fascinated to an actress other than an actor…….around the age of 22, i’ve a crush for a guy………from that time, i’m starting to confuse about my sexuality…….before that, i think i’m attracted to girls only…….but, now at the age of 26, i’m attracted to girls all over again…..and don’t want to be with a man………still in the closet and don’t know how to tell about being attracted to the same-sex to my family, colleagues and friends……i just want to be with a girl but i don’t think i can find one:(…..there’re not a girl bar or club in where i live…..
P.S. pls bare in mind with my poor English

[maddog]

My answer is not sure.
I did confuse about my sexuality and still confusing……i’ve never dated a man or woman before….but when i was young(around 11 or 12), my first crush is a girl……after that, followed by more crushes for girls…..just one side feeling from me, and i don’t have a real relationship with them….i tried to woo them, but they simply reject me:(…..i was born and raised in very conservative place……there aren’t many gay people around…..whenever i watch a movie, I’m fascinated to an actress other than an actor…….around the age of 22, i’ve a crush for a guy………from that time, i’m starting to confuse about my sexuality…….before that, i think i’m attracted to girls only…….but, now at the age of 26, i’m attracted to girls all over again…..and don’t want to be with a man………still in the closet and don’t know how to tell about being attracted to the same-sex to my family, colleagues and friends……i just want to be with a girl but i don’t think i can find one:(…..there’re not a girl bar or club in where i live…..
P.S. pls bare in mind with my poor English

Your english is not to bad :D;)

I just say follow your heart NOT your head. And coming out isnt easy, I wish you luck. Unfortunatly we live in a world where homosexuals r still discriminated against every single day, by ordinary people and by leaders of countries and their puppets. This is discusting behaviour by humans. Hang in their you r not alone ;)

[Holla1968]

Ditto Maddog!

Untitled: Follow Your heart.

I was stupid!!!!! NO - actually Afraid!

I didn't come out until I was 33 Yrs Old! Want to talk about a waste?

Years of happiness wasted. I had crushes (interests) but was afraid to express them.

Today, These days are are much easier. YES, thanks to the woman who is the inspiration of this site!

REMEMBER: GOD Created YOU! - He DOESN'T make mistakes! :d_smile:

XXXX0000
Dana

[mazzerd]

I just had a talk about it with my mom.. I cried for an hour afterwards, but I feel better now :)

[Holla1968]

Dear Mazzerd:

You Told Your Mom?

That was the First person I told, too. My Mom was not surprised. She's alot like Betty D. She's on the websites - voting and stuff. More of an actvo than I am......:)

Good for You! Takes alot of Gutts!

It's a weight that's been lifted!!!!!!

[mazzerd]

Dear Mazzerd:

You Told Your Mom?

That was the First person I told, too. My Mom was not surprised. She's alot like Betty D. She's on the websites - voting and stuff. More of an actvo than I am......:)

Good for You! Takes alot of Gutts!

It's a weight that's been lifted!!!!!!

Yep I told my mom... Actually I told her like two years ago (I'm seventeen now) that I might be bisexual but we never really talked about it untill today.

[kaaaaaaaaka]

i HAVE to come out!! its just too hard to keep it inside now...its destroying me...........and what i dont get is that for me its not a big deal to be gay but it is a big deal to come out!WTF!!

[untitled]

Your english is not to bad :D;)

I just say follow your heart NOT your head. And coming out isnt easy, I wish you luck. Unfortunatly we live in a world where homosexuals r still discriminated against every single day, by ordinary people and by leaders of countries and their puppets. This is discusting behaviour by humans. Hang in their you r not alone ;)

Thanks for the encouragement!

[untitled]

Ditto Maddog!
Untitled: Follow Your heart.
I was stupid!!!!! NO - actually Afraid!
I didn't come out until I was 33 Yrs Old! Want to talk about a waste?
Years of happiness wasted. I had crushes (interests) but was afraid to express them.
Today, These days are are much easier. YES, thanks to the woman who is the inspiration of this site!
REMEMBER: GOD Created YOU! - He DOESN'T make mistakes! :d_smile:
XXXX0000
Dana

Thank you for the advice.....well, i'll definitely follow my heart....but i'm wondering where my heart'll lead me to:p

[maddog]

Thanks for the encouragement!

Your very welcome, hope all turns out for the best :D;)

Good for you mazzerd? Hope your doing ok! :)

Kaaaaaaaaaaka, your so right, its no big deal about being gay, but extreamly hard to come out and face the unnessecary, uncalled for judgement of others ;)

And Holla I agree, god created us, its not a mistake to be gay ;)

[Mushanga]

Yep I told my mom... Actually I told her like two years ago (I'm seventeen now) that I might be bisexual but we never really talked about it untill today.

petje af hoor. hoe reageerde je moeder?

[Mushanga]

Ditto Maddog!

Untitled: Follow Your heart.

I was stupid!!!!! NO - actually Afraid!

I didn't come out until I was 33 Yrs Old! Want to talk about a waste?

Years of happiness wasted. I had crushes (interests) but was afraid to express them.

Today, These days are are much easier. YES, thanks to the woman who is the inspiration of this site!

REMEMBER: GOD Created YOU! - He DOESN'T make mistakes! :d_smile:

XXXX0000
Dana

i was in my 30ties also when i came out. wish i done it earlier.

[Holla1968]

Thank you for the advice.....well, i'll definitely follow my heart....but i'm wondering where my heart'll lead me to:p

Your Heart will lead You to the right Person. :) To narrow the search You should know what sex the person is You you're looking for. I could never be Happy with a man....I have male friends but,....concidering I don't have or want sex with a man - Making it VERY clear that there's NO CHANCE.....Well I don't have as many male friends as I used to.:(

ANYWAY

Dana

[mazzerd]

petje af hoor. hoe reageerde je moeder?

ze reageerde heel goed :) gelukkig.

[Holla1968]

i HAVE to come out!! its just too hard to keep it inside now...its destroying me...........and what i dont get is that for me its not a big deal to be gay but it is a big deal to come out!WTF!!

Kat:

It'll be O.K.! It's a different world from how it was even Ten Years ago!!! :D
Sure You'll run into some "people" who are....well basically afraid. Afraid of what? - I don't know. That's something THEY have to work out. :confused:

Everyone's life is different. BUT - If the people You Love turn their backs on You -( my Sister won't speak to me....O.K.) Ride it out - Hopefully, they'll come around.:mad_yes:

Look at Ellen - Loved by Millions. By Starights, Gays, Christians, Muslims, The elderly, The Young, Etc. :)

Back in '97 I bet she never dreamed that she would be so LOVED while being HERSELF!!!! Overall her Sexuallity is NOT the first thing she would list as How she would describe herself.

People all over the world, from Alabama to Belgium; people are watching the clock making sure the kids are fed, the chores are done, Their Boss is out of the office - so they can take that hour to watch their FAVORITE TALK SHOW and FAVORITE TV PERSONALITY - ELLEN!!!!:disc_laugh: She's loved because she's a sweet, Funny, Kind person who gave us the GIFT of being able to laugh at ourselves AND with eachother!!!!

This Tribute clip From Austria sums it up!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqwPemR25S4


XXXOOO

Dana

[Holla1968]

i was in my 30ties also when i came out. wish i done it earlier.

Cold, scary and lonely in that closet, isn't it?:d_unsure:

But, Better Now, Isn't It?:d_yes:

XXXOOO
Dana

[kaaaaaaaaka]

Kat:

It'll be O.K.! It's a different world from how it was even Ten Years ago!!! :D
Sure You'll run into some "people" who are....well basically afraid. Afraid of what? - I don't know. That's something THEY have to work out. :confused:

Everyone's life is different. BUT - If the people You Love turn their backs on You -( my Sister won't speak to me....O.K.) Ride it out - Hopefully, they'll come around.:mad_yes:

Look at Ellen - Loved by Millions. By Starights, Gays, Christians, Muslims, The elderly, The Young, Etc. :)

Back in '97 I bet she never dreamed that she would be so LOVED while being HERSELF!!!! Overall her Sexuallity is NOT the first thing she would list as How she would describe herself.

People all over the world, from Alabama to Belgium; people are watching the clock making sure the kids are fed, the chores are done, They're Boss is out of the office - so they can take that hour to watch their FAVORITE TALK SHOW and FAVORITE TV PERSONALITY - ELLEN!!!!:disc_laugh: She's loved because she's a sweet, Funny, Kind person who gave us the GIFT of being able to laugh at ourselves AND with eachother!!!!

This Tribute clip From Austria sums it up!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqwPemR25S4


XXXOOO

Dana

Thanks Dana!!:) and i agree it is cold, scary and lonely in here!

I know the world isnt the same as it was but there is still somethink thats keeping me from coming out! but ill do it soon! thats for sure! because ive sent my sister text messages when i was...lets says a under the influence, saying that i had to talk to her...and now shes just like : "you have to tell me about whatever it is!stop being a tease!"lol:D so i will tell her somewere in the next 2 weeks! when ill see her basically...but i know shes not going to reject me or anything! i just wish i knew someone who is gay so that i could talk to her/him because they would understand how im feeling! but i dont!!:wallbash: ah well...

[Holla1968]

Thanks Dana!!:) and i agree it is cold, scary and lonely in here!

i just wish i knew someone who is gay so that i could talk to her/him because they would understand how im feeling! but i dont!!:wallbash: ah well...

Hey Kat:

YOU Have US! You can Contact me ANYTIME!!!!:) AND I Know OUR friends here, will be there for You, too. :d_wink:

YOU and ONLY YOU know when the Time Is Right.....


XXXOOO
Dana

[kaaaaaaaaka]

thank you so much! that is really nice of you!:)

[irock4u]

Before i came out i didn't know one gay person:(...then i came out and a whole new world opened up to me and i have met many gay people :D since then...now it is nothing new meeting someone gay but earlier in life i thought i was never going to meet anyone.

[lucyistall]

I know I'm not special or different, but I'm pretty certain I'm gay... but I really don't want to be. Does that make any sense? I really don't want to be seen as and to live as the "gay girl". I've denied it as many times as I possibly can, but it's been bubbling to the surface of late and I have no idea which way to turn. Arghhh! Help :confused:

[Holla1968]

I know I'm not special or different, but I'm pretty certain I'm gay... but I really don't want to be. Does that make any sense? I really don't want to be seen as and to live as the "gay girl". I've denied it as many times as I possibly can, but it's been bubbling to the surface of late and I have no idea which way to turn. Arghhh! Help :confused:

Seen as "The Gay Girl" by Whom?:confused:

Your family and existing friends will see You as...well, YOU! Nothing has changed - You are (well, should be the same person to them as before):)

New People...if YOUR sexuality is who They see You as - and label You as such....Do You really want them around?:confused:

I've been labeled as "The Gay Girl" - Those people aren't people I care about....I can place plenty of Labels on them....I just don't have the Time or care to......

PLEASE don't live the life "Others" expect You to.

Dana:D

[lucyistall]

Thanks Dana.. I suppose the issue I'm facing is with regards to my family.. what little I have left. Most of them would simply exclude me, the only person who potentially wouldn't would be my mother. I know that she would still love me, but she would prefer I was straight. I sort of haphazardly came out to her 5 years back when I was 16 and she sort of dismissed it and pretended that I didn't say it. :blink:

[maddog]

Thanks Dana.. I suppose the issue I'm facing is with regards to my family.. what little I have left. Most of them would simply exclude me, the only person who potentially wouldn't would be my mother. I know that she would still love me, but she would prefer I was straight. I sort of haphazardly came out to her 5 years back when I was 16 and she sort of dismissed it and pretended that I didn't say it. :blink:


Family are the hardest to come out to I think,everyone needs family support, no matter how old. At least your mum loves you.
I came out to my mum many moons ago, she is still in total denial;dismissed it but hasn't said a word about finding a man ever since :D. Funny stuff!!! She loves me loads. She knows I ride with dykes on bikes and go in the mardi gras every year. I talk about my gay girl friends and my ex girlfriends. She knows in her heart but hasnt the courage to admit it to herself. Oh well such is life. She lets me be me (to an extent) and I let her be her. (dads ok with me, totally great)

[xmaryx]

Thanks Dana.. I suppose the issue I'm facing is with regards to my family.. what little I have left. Most of them would simply exclude me, the only person who potentially wouldn't would be my mother. I know that she would still love me, but she would prefer I was straight. I sort of haphazardly came out to her 5 years back when I was 16 and she sort of dismissed it and pretended that I didn't say it. :blink:

heya
thats kinda what happened to an ex of mine when she came out to her mum. it was as if she hadnt said it, then her mum cried and cried for days over the phone (they were living far apart at the time) and her mum drove all the way to leeds from oxford just to discuss 'it' and told my ex that she did love her but didnt want her to 'burn the bridges back to men.' but deep down nothing changed in their relationship, and now 2 1/2 yrs later all her family knows she's gay and her new gf gets invited to family functions and no one cares
families are funny things, but if you are certain that you would get a bad reaction then i would be cautious for the time being even though the closet is not the ideal place to be
if you wanna chat PM me :)

[tikboibaboi]

yes, i am totally gay and proud to be one!!

i'm new here.. iwish i could have new friends.. :rolleyes:

[natashaUK]

Yep, I'm gay... :p

[bensongrrl]

I am gay but I was 32 before I realised it. Thank god I moved in next to some gay guys who just assumed I was gay, they dragged me out to the local gay bar and it was like I'd been slapped round the head. There has been no going back and I have been with my girlfriend for coming up 4 years.

My family found it quite difficult so accept that I was 'suddenly' gay, which was how it appeared to them. I have to say that agony aunts saying that fancying your friend is just a normal heterosexual phase didn't help. NB .Shutting your eyes and pretending your boyf is a woman is also a bit of a clincher :D

I nearly accepted myself when Ellen did the puppy episode and was on the verge of telling my best mate, but managed to push it back down - this lead to a psychotic episode.

Coming out is not easy and I don't condone in any way outing someone but keeping it all in can damage you and your relationships. I was living split life - gay and happy on the internet / straight and conflicted in the real world:uglyconf:

So back to the question, yes I'm as gay as they come......finally

[untitled]

Your Heart will lead You to the right Person. :) To narrow the search You should know what sex the person is You you're looking for. I could never be Happy with a man....I have male friends but,....concidering I don't have or want sex with a man - Making it VERY clear that there's NO CHANCE.....Well I don't have as many male friends as I used to.:(
ANYWAY
Dana
Although i'm pretty sure about what sex i prefer:D:o....i'm wondering whether i can find the right person for me from where i live....:(*sigh*

[Ashley_Lynn]

Epic story time! :)

I find it kind of funny how everything’s all sunshine and rainbows for two years (of being, “out” ish), then my supposed best friend goes all “Anti-lesbian” after proclaiming he’s “pro-gay”, another guy I’ve been really close with for over 11 years has dropped all the classes we have together this semester coming up, wont talk to me, wont acknowledge I exist, all because he’s apparently “In love” with me. Even if I were straight, it wouldn’t happen. And to make it all just peachy, one just has to fall for some uber-religious straight girl, who wants absolutely nothing to do with you.

And to have your mother think you’re secretly sleeping with some guy that calls your house (Guys I know never call me, so it’s defiantly a red flag for my mom.) and leaves his stuff here (When he’s really not supposed to be in the house in the first place…) And your friends tease you about being “totally in love” with him even though they defiantly know the definition of “Lesbian.” I mean really… just cause he’s so the cheese to my macaroni, and not a homo, does not mean anything.

But, I’d rather have her think I was sleeping with some boy than her thinking I’m gay, that wouldn’t go over too well.

Sigh.. Being the only lesbian in your entire grade (I’m not over-exaggerating either, which is sad) pretty much sucks. Well.. maybe just the only upfront out-ish one.. but still, not fun.

Wow, half that was pointless.

[Debje]

Ok so I've a problem...

I think 2 of my friends think I'm gay... and well they want to figure it out if it's really true, I don't even know if I'm gay so. and well It's really annoying how they act when I'm just sitting and talking with them. Sometimes I just want to say to shut up and mind their own, but I'm not that kind of person to say that out loud. And it's also kinda frustrating, because in the beginning of this schoolyear, they didn't act like that how they do now. And I'm almost sure they're talking about me behind my back. And I think also with my best friend :( and I don't know what to do...:(:(

[Tolaoi]

just ask them if they had something to tell U ...maybe some problems they have the best way i think is just talk with them....and If they are not worth it ...just dont talk at all with them

[mazzerd]

Ok so I've a problem...

I think 2 of my friends think I'm gay... and well they want to figure it out if it's really true, I don't even know if I'm gay so. and well It's really annoying how they act when I'm just sitting and talking with them. Sometimes I just want to say to shut up and mind their own, but I'm not that kind of person to say that out loud. And it's also kinda frustrating, because in the beginning of this schoolyear, they didn't act like that how they do now. And I'm almost sure they're talking about me behind my back. And I think also with my best friend :( and I don't know what to do...:(:(

It sucks that [you think] your friends are talking about you behind your back. I don't know what kind of people your friends are, but do you think you can talk about your situation with them? I was in a kinda similar situation.. there was this friend who thought I was gay and I didn't even know about myself if I were or not. So I talked to her and told her that I didn't know if I were gay or not and that I thought I might be bisexual. And she responded very well. It really helped for me.

[deezionu1]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D

[Musofan]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D

Good for you, deezionu1 :)

[i_love_ellen]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D
awww im so happy for you :D:D

[jjjoan]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D
Great! Happy Birthday deezionu1 !!!!!!!!!!
:banana:

[au55ie]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D

Congrats deezonu1 :)

[kaaaaaaaaka]

I chickened out!:wallbash: i wanted to come out to my sister but i didnt do it!
last night i saw the Spice Girls(amasing btw but thats another story) with my sister and when we were coming back from the show she started talking to me about her boyfriend(now ex). she was saying that she misses him and stuff and then she asked me if there was a boy in my life!!! ive been waiting for that line for a while now...that way i could say "no because im gay"!! but i just said no!!! i feel weak right now...:(

[deezionu1]

KaaaaaaaaaaaaaKaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Not to worry when it feels right, you'll muster up the courage. It took me about 25 years. My folks and I were having dinner, and I had it all planned out, what I was going to say. Then the bill comes, my mom goes to use the restroom, my dad goes outside to have a cigarette. Needless to say it did'nt happen. So we get in the car, I'm driving them home and I say to myself O.K. This is it, I'm gonna do it and I did. They love me unconditionally. Pretty cool. I knew once I told my mom it did'nt matter who else I told.

You'll get there.:thumbup:

Dee:disc_laugh:

[HeavensAngel332]

:)So, today, Jan 31, is my 48th birthday. I Finally got up the nerve to tell My 70 Year old mom and 67 year old stepdad that I'm gay. My poor mom thought I was going to tell her that I was dying. She was sooooooo happy to find out that I'm just gay. I'm crying like a baby and she's so happy. They said that they have known for like 20 years. :p;):D

Wow, congrats deezionu!!! That must of been a load off your back! Yeah, lots of us are still trying to muster up the courage to do that, but thats so great for you! http://www.mazeguy.net/happy/applause.gif

[LisaJr]

Congrats to all of you who found the courage to come out. I am currently at a crossroads of sorts myself. However, I do not feel the need to tell anyone I'm gay in the same way that my friends do not need to proclaim that they are straight. Does this make any sense? I guess I just don't see it as an issue yet.

[maddog]

Congrats to all of you who found the courage to come out. I am currently at a crossroads of sorts myself. However, I do not feel the need to tell anyone I'm gay in the same way that my friends do not need to proclaim that they are straight. Does this make any sense? I guess I just don't see it as an issue yet.

Yes, makes total sense. No one should have to say hi im gay, hi im a jew, hi i like hiking etc etc. Its sad the world we live in makes it an issue, uneducated, fearful, narrow minded people making being gay a big issue, when its no big deal.

[Alex79]

i'm italian...i live in italy...i'm a catholic christian...and i'm gay...:D

[zoeak]

To be very much generalizing, I know this is not true for *all* straight people, or *all* gay people, but it's true for many:

The difference between straight people not having to proclaim they're straight, is that everyone knows they're straight anyway, because even if they don't proclaim it, they unconsciously give it away all the time anyway, in how they reference their exes, or potential future partners, or the way they talk about movie stars, or assumptions they make about relationships in general. They don't have to proclaim they're straight, because confirming that they are is a natural part of their vocabulary, and the way they relate to the world.

Gay people have edited out all the gender-specific pronouns of their vocabulary, we talk about 'significant others' and 'partners' and 'people' we like, or we just don't talk about it at all. Only someone who is looking for the references pick up on our non-straight-ness, everyone else assume we're straight just as they are. And because of these assumptions, it becomes a 'proclamation' or 'shoving it in my face' even if we're just referencing someone we're attracted to the way any straight person might say 'oh, look at him, he's hot' when seeing a billbord with some underwear model, and no-one would even notice that they did it.

If it was possible for me to reference my gayness without anyone thinking twice about it in the company of my straight aquaintances, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but they make it a big deal. It's getting better, but it's nowhere near good yet. If it was, we wouldn't have these discussions, we wouldn't have to be worried and afraid and indecisive.

The only thing we can fight that with is coming out. If queer people keep coming out, keep talking about it, that's the only way we can make it an easily accepted part of society at large. We're the only ones who can educate the ignorant masses.

Now, I'm not saying anyone has an obligation to come out. I'm not out to everyone, but I hope I will be one day. No-one should be forced to come out, and no-one should be outed against their will, being happy and at peace with yourself is the most important thing. But coming out it important, too, and we shouldn't forget that.

:kaffeetrinker_2:

[maddog]

If it was possible for me to reference my gayness without anyone thinking twice about it in the company of my straight aquaintances, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but they make it a big deal. It's getting better, but it's nowhere near good yet. If it was, we wouldn't have these discussions, we wouldn't have to be worried and afraid and indecisive.

The only thing we can fight that with is coming out. If queer people keep coming out, keep talking about it, that's the only way we can make it an easily accepted part of society at large. We're the only ones who can educate the ignorant masses.

Now, I'm not saying anyone has an obligation to come out. I'm not out to everyone, but I hope I will be one day. No-one should be forced to come out, and no-one should be outed against their will, being happy and at peace with yourself is the most important thing. But coming out it important, too, and we shouldn't forget that.

:kaffeetrinker_2:

I totally agree :thumbup:

[Tolaoi]

i'm italian...i live in italy...i'm a catholic christian...and i'm gay...:D

Hah :D Cheers and im Proud Of all ppl who says Im gay open ...

[Holla1968]

Hah :D Cheers and im Proud Of all ppl who says Im gay open ...


God Bless Ya Girl!!!!:D

[irock4u]

Posted by LisaJr I do not feel the need to tell anyone I'm gay in the same way that my friends do not need to proclaim that they are straight.

Posted by maddogYes, makes total sense. No one should have to say hi im gay, hi im a jew, hi i like hiking etc etc. Its sad the world we live in makes it an issue, uneducated, fearful, narrow minded people making being gay a big issue, when its no big deal.

Me too...totally agree i don't feel i am "in" but i don't tell everyone i meet that i am gay either. so i guess i am not "out" either...LOL
I am just me and if pertains to a particular person or topic i dont hide who i am so for the most part people assume but never have the courage to ask me. just because i can tell they assume i like women i dont feel a need to confirm this if people are truly interested in who i am sleeping with they would have to ask...

[LisaJr]

Phew! I was worried I might attract some static with that statement, LOL. I'm glad to know there are others who feel the same way I do. I just think that being gay is a part of who I am. I'm not necessairly in or out of the closet. I think in my own situation, a closet really isn't involved at all. I'm not going to hide who I am but I'm not going to flaunt it either. I mean there are many facets of my character, being gay is just one of them. So is being a runner. Or a student. Or a really bad driver...or...you get my drift. :)

[taliootz]

Phew! I was worried I might attract some static with that statement, LOL. I'm glad to know there are others who feel the same way I do. I just think that being gay is a part of who I am. I'm not necessairly in or out of the closet. I think in my own situation, a closet really isn't involved at all. I'm not going to hide who I am but I'm not going to flaunt it either. I mean there are many facets of my character, being gay is just one of them. So is being a runner. Or a student. Or a really bad driver...or...you get my drift.

So i should be watching out for you when im drivin then huh? :p

[LisaJr]

So i should be watching out for you when im drivin then huh? :p

LOL, no just stay off the side walk! :D

[taliootz]

ohhh right! *note to self* no walking/driving/anything near Lisa :thumbup:

Back to the topic....im not sure? is that even an acceptable answer???:confused:

[untitled]

Yes, makes total sense. No one should have to say hi im gay, hi im a jew, hi i like hiking etc etc. Its sad the world we live in makes it an issue, uneducated, fearful, narrow minded people making being gay a big issue, when its no big deal.

Ya,that's right...it's not a big deal and i hate people who make being gay such a big issue:(

[bensongrrl]

I believe that everyone should do what is comfortable for them. I don't go round banging a drum but I am openly gay and will tick that box on job application forms and I do refer to my partner as she.

Ellen sometimes gets critisism for not being gay enough - whatever that is? But the fact that there is probably not a single person who watches her show who is not aware of her sexuality.

By not pushing it onto people they are left to make a subconscious connection...gay woman...funny...caring...generous. This then leads them to identify with some aspects of her personality and thereby changing in some small way their belief system.

Ellen has a positive daily impact on the way gay people are percieved.

My rant over! :irre:

[taliootz]

And quite the rant it was!! Well said, couldnt have done better myself ;)

[zoeak]

I agree with you. I think what Ellen does for gay visibility simply by being accessible and kind is amazing. I don't know if this was posted at the time, but Dorothy Snarker had a really nice post on the subject on Ellen's birthday weekend, and she says it all better than I could myself.
http://dorothysurrenders.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-weekend-crush_26.html

Ellen sometimes gets critisism for not being gay enough - whatever that is? But the fact that there is probably not a single person who watches her show who is not aware of her sexuality.

However, I just gotta mention this exchange I had with an acquaintance a while back, as he was standing next to me while I booted up my computer to reveal one of my many 'Ellen & Portia wrapped around each other on some red carpet or other' wallpapers. It went something like this:

boy: "Who are they? Oh, that's Ellen DeGeneres!"
me: "Yep!"
boy: "Who's the other woman?"
me: "Her girlfriend."
boy: "Huh?" (I do think he actually just didn't hear me, the room was noisy)
me: "Her girlfriend!!"
boy: "She's a lesbian?!?"
me: "Totally."
boy: "I had no idea!"
me: "Uh. Well. She is!"

He seriously had no idea. Which makes me wonder, where do you learn who Ellen is, without realizing that she's gay? I mean, if he was watching her talkshow four years ago, and not paying attention to anything else, maybe, but these days...