Bi to Gay

[Ana Matronic]

I have this problem. I'm a bisexual girl, but I don't know if I may be completely gay or not. I do prefer women obviously, a lot more, but I don't know if I still like men or not. I haven't liked a guy in ages, and I don't find them physically attractive much, it's all about personality for me. I'm like that with women as well. Also, I haven't had a sexual relationship with a guy or a women, so I guess this makes me stall in my decision even more because I haven't had the proper experience.

Any advice guys? Ellen - care to share your thoughts lol? :p

Heather xxxx

[mazzerd]

I kinda have the same thing actually :confused:

[Ana Matronic]

I know, it's bloody hard isn't it???

[linda76]

"Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people."

~Martina Navratilova


It's incredibly confusing in the "definition" sense, but following your heart is not confusing at all. :)

[Ana Matronic]

You make a lot of sense.

[sansoucci]

I think what you're describing is fairly common

Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale? (He did studies on sexual behavior)
I believe, like Kinsey, that most people are somewhere in between exclusively hetro- or homosexual.

"Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. While emphasising the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history... An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life.... A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist." (Kinsey, et al. (1948). pp. 639, 656)


The scale is as follows:
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X Asexual

[pip3ren]

Not that im in any position to give advice, but if i was it would be to follow your heart and see where it leads as.......

following your heart is not confusing at all. :)

[smithy1219]

Hi here’s my point of view. Don’t label yourself as anything. Me personally im kinda the same as you. The odd guy I come into contact with is ok but I do go mainly for other girls. Infact at the moment I do have one particular girl I really like and she likes me back apparently quite a bit and well ok we are not officially going out but were pretty close. What im trying to say is the gender does not matter to me, just the person and there personality. If this girl that I have got close to was a bloke I would still love her just as much as long as the personality was the same. I recon it’s the individual person you fall for, not the gender so don’t worry about labelling yourself as being gay, or bi or even straight. Things will work themselves out and in the mean time just go with what feels right and what you enjoy.

Hope this helps.:)

[HeavensAngel332]

Good points everyone, but man Ana Matronic, you described me perfectly! I have the exact same problem!:astonished:

[drummonger]

Just be patient and the answers will come to you.

[incrediblolo]

I don't think you have to make a decision. People place too much importance on labeling themselves, you shouldn't stress over figuring out if you are bi or gay, just like who you like and be happy.
I'm pretty much in the same boat as you btw, I'm pretty gay but I still like guys a little. I don't know whether I'd call myself bi or gay. But like I said, I don't think it matters.

[edfan24]

So um you described me perfectly.

I don't really care to label myself, but boy it's still confusing.

[12BR]

I can so relate to all above mentioned... being at a questioning stage myself. In my surrounding, there is not much open discussion about one's orientation. Some friends who have r'ships with both had suggested not to rush into labelling. But I am still keen to know more about myself.

I know I'm more inclined towards gals, less so towards guys.. Maybe some sharing here can help? This will show my ignorance, but in a same-sex relationship, what's attractive to your partner?

[mazzerd]

Good points everyone. And it's good to know there are some people who are confused about the same thing as I am.

[smartfion]

I think Love is a splendid feeling that you feel for another person. Or like Ellen said "spark flew, music flied and fireworks":p It's a feeling that can overcomes your senses.
If you happen to have this kinda affection to someone from the same sex, let that be. You can't resist it, can you?;)
I think it's the person that counts, not genders.

[LadyDeath91]

Oh well u kinda described me too...
I'm like 80% gay but the other 20% likes men?
ahh thats so hard to describe lol

[Aggie74]

"Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people."

~Martina Navratilova


It's incredibly confusing in the "definition" sense, but following your heart is not confusing at all. :)

Yeah...I'm from her land, and I'm very proud, although I'm not gay...

but...when I think about it, LadyDeath91, I feel that I have big weakness for several very special women...

[untitled]

I'm in the same boat with you guys...........still confusing about myself though i'm more attracted to girls........i'm not interested in labeling but i'm afraid that if ever i am able to find the one that i love, but the other party is straight........how am i going to face this situation??.....will appreciate any advice.

[Aggie74]

I'm in the same boat with you guys...........still confusing about myself though i'm more attracted to girls........i'm not interested in labeling but i'm afraid that if ever i am able to find the one that i love, but the other party is straight........how am i going to face this situation??.....will appreciate any advice.

It's very hard...if I can tell...I'm going through something like you discribe, love to hetero woman and I have something like waves, sometimes I'm happy, that I have someone who I can love, but on the other hand...it drives me crazy...

[Ana Matronic]

Hi everyone again...

Thanks for answering my thread! You all make brilliant points, and you are all right. I shouldn't worry about labelling myself. But I guess the reason why I wanted to label myself is because I have a thing for...organisation? Everything I do has to be set out right. If that makes any sense to you all, then welldone lol.

But thanks so much for replying. I've decided to just 'go with the flow' and whoever I meet next, is whoever I meet next.

I THINK I like this girl I work with, and we seemed to be very flirtatious today, so you never know? But I have to find out if she is gay or bi first lol!

Heather

[untitled]

It's very hard...if I can tell...I'm going through something like you discribe, love to hetero woman and I have something like waves, sometimes I'm happy, that I have someone who I can love, but on the other hand...it drives me crazy...

Exactly,it drives me crazy too:mad:......moreover, there aren't many gay or bi ppl in where i live......so, sigh sigh:(...i wish i can be able to live in LA:cool:

[Aggie74]

Exactly,it drives me crazy too:mad:......moreover, there aren't many gay or bi ppl in where i live......so, sigh sigh:(...i wish i can be able to live in LA:cool:

I'm glad that I don't live there, cause big cities drives me crazy too...
(I'm girl from small village, so I have the same problem with gay or bi people...but...I don't know if it's problem, cause it's hard to tell if I will be interested when I meet some gay girl...)

[12BR]

Hi everyone again...

Thanks for answering my thread! You all make brilliant points, and you are all right. I shouldn't worry about labelling myself. But I guess the reason why I wanted to label myself is because I have a thing for...organisation? Everything I do has to be set out right. If that makes any sense to you all, then welldone lol.

But thanks so much for replying. I've decided to just 'go with the flow' and whoever I meet next, is whoever I meet next.

I THINK I like this girl I work with, and we seemed to be very flirtatious today, so you never know? But I have to find out if she is gay or bi first lol!

Heather

I totally understand the need for 'organisation' cos I viewed it as part of defining myself too. While I sorta told myself to go with my feelings, I am anxious to know what is attractive or what's not to a gal. I mean it all comes down to individuals but there must be some commonalities. Cos what's considered appealing from a male perspective is v.different from a female's.

Hope I made sense? Anyone to share some thoughts?

[Ana Matronic]

12BR, you do make sense lol! And I do see where you're coming from.

Sexuality is such a confusing thing, don't you think?!

[hiddengirl]

To Ana Matronic. I can only empathize with how you are feeling,your confusion. Perhaps I can tell you my story, maybe it will help. I am bisexual and have accepted myself after a long tome of denial and wondering whether I am lesbian or not. I have had boyfriends and girlfriends and was in love with each one of them. You see I dont see people necessarily as a gender but I fall in love with a person, to me it doesnt matter if its a boy or a girl. If I am watching a film I could be attracted to the leading man and leading woman at the same time.Its not something that I can turn off its the way I am.Bisexuality is really difficult as now I am commited to a man that I truly love and would never want to lose him. In my soul I am torn because there is one side to me that can never be fullfilled ,the girl part.There is an ache an emptiness that overshadows everything sometimes and it hurts.But to have one would destroy the other, and that would kill me. I am in a no win situation.My advise to you is to be with the one your attracted to and fall in love,it doesnt matter if its a girl or boy but do not be surprised if another person of the other gender later on comes along.Bisexuality is hard thats just the way it is.:confused: