Age Gaps

[smithy1219]

Hi, so the other day I was thinking about age gaps as I am in a bit of a situation at the moment and then I thought of Ellen and Portia and there age gap but was wondering what you guys think about them and if you think that extreme age gaps (as long as its legal) is ok as its all about 2 people loving each other or if you disagree and think is completely wrong or even if you think there are boundaries to what’s acceptable and what’s not?

[LadyDeath91]

Love doesnt see age , unless its illegal ! lol

agreed. ;)
as long as 2 people love eachother, and as long it isnt illegal, then it doesnt matter how old you are

[zoeak]

Age difference can be a problem, sure, both within the relationship in personal differences, and when it comes to how society views it, but sometimes the right person just comes along. When we were 16 or 17 my best friend began dating a man who was about 40 (which isn't illegal here), which *should* be totally wrong, it's only that when you met them together they worked so perfectly. They were together for about 4 years, and when they eventually broke up it was for reasons entirely unrelated to their age difference. And one of my good friends now, he's maybe 27, has a fiancée who's about 47, and they've been together for about 5 years, and I see them lasting forever, because they're perfect for each other.

So whenever I catch myself thinking it should be such a problem with age difference, I have to remind myself of them, because in both cases I've sort of forgotten that there even was a pretty significant age difference.

[misskitty]

I guess it does not matter to me with the age gaps just as two people love each other,you know thats all that matters

[KellyD]

I dont think age should matter. As long as you both are happy and in love, thats all that counts in the end. Thats my opinion :)

[sweden]

I dont think age should matter. As long as you both are happy and in love, thats all that counts in the end. Thats my opinion :)

I think so too :) And when I think of age difference I often think about Ellen and Portia, but then there is also a certain song that comes to my mind, written by the great swedish/dutch singer-songwriter Cornelis Vreeswijk who had his career in the 60s and 70s. I love the song, it's called "Balladen om Fredrik Åkare och Cecilia Lind", and it's about an older man who is in love with a young girl. Sad song, listening to it totally makes me cry :p

(Not sure why I'm sharing all this, lol... but it was just what came to my mind)

[politico]

It really all depends on the two individuals. My first lover was 14 years older than me. I was in a 13 year relationship with a woman who was 17 years older than I and am currently 11 years into a partnership with a woman 10 years my senior. I have just always related to people older than I, both in friendships and more serious relationships. I didn't share many interests with people my own age. As I get older now that is not as much the case.

[Branwen]

I don't think age matters too much. My first real gf was 13 years older than me and it didn't really make too much of a difference. We both liked the same sort of music, movies etc so it never really was an issue. We ended up (for a time at least) being really good friends and because of that only made it to 3 and a half years. I'm now with someone who is only 5 years younger than me and we've been together for over 5 years now and i know we've both never been happier :)

I guess in a lot of ways, it depends on the couple as to whether it's an issue or not.

[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

Illegal? Where did that come from? Anyway, I agree with everyone, it doesn't matter because love never fails...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/zsuzsu/E_P_BW_Background.jpg

[tcsced]

I think it can be a problem for some people, but I definitely believe it depends on the 2 people in the relationship!

As for Ellen and Portia, they're both old physically...lol! I'm just kidding, but Portia rides horses and has fallen off of them before and Ellen even said Portia hurt her back when she fell off a horse one time and when they were in their accident Portia's back got knocked back into place. And we ALL know about Ellen's back problems!!! I think there is another reason for their back problems and it probably involves nothing but the two of them...I'll let you figure that one out for yourselves:rolleyes:!

All kidding aside, I think Ellen is very youthful for her age. She doesn't act her age at all, and whenever I tell people how old she is, they're like "WHAAAATTT?????" Despite the few crows feet she has around her eyes (Portia has them too so there!) she does not look her age at all! I would not put her a day over 40! Maybe even a little younger than that! She is in great shape, takes care of her body, and doesn't look her age at all! So technically she looks only about 5 years older than Portia rather than 15. I don't think it makes a difference in their relationship...if it did, I think Portia would have run off to someone younger when Ellen severely hurt her back, thinking, "Oh boy, this is what I have to look forward to in the near future...I'm finding someone younger!" rather than caring for her like she did the whole time!!

[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

As for Ellen and Portia, they're both old physically...lol! I'm just kidding

WHAAAAAT?

LOL I laughed at your post because I am the same age of Portia... now I feel old ;) I know you were only kidding... :):):)

[sweden]

Illegal? Where did that come from?



I think they meant like if a 10-year old child is with a 50-year old, then that's illegal. (Love the picture/poem-thing btw :))

[smithy1219]

Hi, thanks for all your replies. I guess what you have all said pretty much says that if two people in are in love it does not matter about age. That’s how it should be really because some people may have a mental age of about a 12 year old but may physically be 20 and another 20 year old may have the mental age of a 30 year old so really age should never matter (again, as long as its legal!!):)

[KellyD]

Illegal? Where did that come from? Anyway, I agree with everyone, it doesn't matter because love never fails...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/zsuzsu/E_P_BW_Background.jpg

THat is my all time favorite quote!!! My gf and I live by it everyday, and we have that saying right above our bed to remind us. 1 Corinthians 13..its absolutly beautiful

[kaaaaaaaaka]

1 Corinthians 13..its absolutly beautiful

oh my god i totally love that quote!! lol

ive always connected better with people older than me and i dont have a gf right now but im pretty shure she will be older than me!! i dont know why ive always felt more comfortable with people older than me...anyone have a reason why that might be?:confused:

[KellyD]

oh my god i totally love that quote!! lol

ive always connected better with people older than me and i dont have a gf right now but im pretty shure she will be older than me!! i dont know why ive always felt more comfortable with people older than me...anyone have a reason why that might be?:confused:

Maybe its cuz older pple sometimes have more experience. Or because you've always been taken care of by older pple in your life, that by you dating someone older than you, it gives u the comfort that u will be taken care of. I dunno...maybe thats why lol.My gf is older than me but only by a year so I have no idea lmfao

[kaaaaaaaaka]

Maybe its cuz older pple sometimes have more experience. Or because you've always been taken care of by older pple in your life, that by you dating someone older than you, it gives u the comfort that u will be taken care of. I dunno...maybe thats why lol.My gf is older than me but only by a year so I have no idea lmfao


yeah maybe youre right!! i think i am attacted to the experience that older people have!! maybe thats why my closest friends are older than me and i dont really connect with my friends who are my age....because i do have some that are my age lol... but i dont see them often!! mmmmmm...interesting,,,,

thank you btw!!:)

[LisaJr]

what does "10 years my senior" actually mean? I hear it all the time. But I never understood it.


Oh, by the way, my relationship has a 7 and a half year age gap. But it works. Cuz I'm totally immature!:D

[KellyD]

yeah maybe youre right!! i think i am attacted to the experience that older people have!! maybe thats why my closest friends are older than me and i dont really connect with my friends who are my age....because i do have some that are my age lol... but i dont see them often!! mmmmmm...interesting,,,,

thank you btw!!:)

np..just one canadian helpin out another :p

[sweden]

what does "10 years my senior" actually mean? I hear it all the time. But I never understood it.


It means "10 years older than me" :)

[jlilest]

what does "10 years my senior" actually mean? I hear it all the time. But I never understood it.


Oh, by the way, my relationship has a 7 and a half year age gap. But it works. Cuz I'm totally immature!:D

That should mean that the person being referred to is ten years older than the person speaking or writing.

[LisaJr]

Ahh, now I get it.

Thanks!

[KellyD]

My gf and I are just over a year apart..(shes older than me) but I was always curious about dating someone older..like 5-8years older. I've NEVER dated anyone yonger than me either, I just think that they would be immature lmfao

[kaaaaaaaaka]

np..just one canadian helpin out another :p

:) LOL!! yeah we've got to help eachother out...not a lot of us out there!!! thx

[dime]

I think relationship is built on many things. And while I acknowledge that age is nowhere near as important as some of these things, it is significant enough to warrant consideration when moving into or maintaining a relationship.

The phases we go through in life do not cease to exisit when we find an 'other' to share ourselves with. In my 20's I am a woman still searching for an identity. As I hit thirty I am more focussed on what does life mean, where am i headed? In my 40's I am a person who is over the drama and comfortable with myself enough to enjoy the simple things in life- not having all the answers doesn't worry me as much...etc.

So yeh, age does matter in friendships and more so in lover-friendships. I also think that alot of times our search for an older partner (I am talking as a lesbian who also prefers women who are older than myself by at least 8-10 years) or rather our connecting with older people has alot to do with the innate desire for the mother figure. And a person who is the senior is more than likely the more mothering type.

Of course I am generalising and of course there are other explanations, and of course this doesn't justify or reject the notion of large age gaps in relationships. But I think these are valid realities which we overlook sometimes because they are uncomfortable.

Sorry about the essay- its a hard topic to shrink into 2 lines

[ohyeaah]

Older women...

Can you say... COUGAR?

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l51/michelleldube/cougar.jpg


michelle
:banana:

[debby]

Older women...

Can you say... COUGAR?

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l51/michelleldube/cougar.jpg


michelle
:banana:

lol whatabout wiser woman ;)

hm with ellen and portia i think it doesn´t matter at all. ellen really don´t look like over 50 :)

but there are relationships where i think it´s kinda weird. i know a couple where one is 18 and the other 50. there are now 2 years together and think about marriage... i don´t know i´m 25 and my mother is 52... i don´t wanne date my mum ;) they are happy and thats all that matters and trust me they get strange looks all the time, lesbians and that big age gab:dry: htere familys are not happy as well but they don´t care :)

anyway i allways liked older woman more but my past shows me that i´m the older one most of the times^^ my gf is just 1/2 year younger as i am and it works very good :p

so "after all it´s only love" (thats also a quote ;) who knows the song??) lol

[irock4u]

With me it is not the age it is the person I go for.
I dated a few younger, a couple same age and one older. I honestly wish I would have had more older women. I am searching for my soulmate I gave that up several years ago and thought I could find a compatible person to spend my life with and that didnt work out to well. Now, I am in search of a soul mate and wont settle again so regardless of age I would be happy to find her.:cool:

[debby]

With me it is not the age it is the person I go for.
I dated a few younger, a couple same age and one older. I honestly wish I would have had more older women. I am searching for my soulmate I gave that up several years ago and thought I could find a compatible person to spend my life with and that didnt work out to well. Now, I am in search of a soul mate and wont settle again so regardless of age I would be happy to find her.:cool:

the best tip i can give you, is stop searching ;)
it allways worked for me, when i was looking for a new relationship noone came along. but if you are not looking and be just yourself, you are more interesting to others, like hard to get :cool: or fresh heardbrocken... also worked ;)

[irock4u]

LOL!!! thanks I am not literally searching. (maybe a little:p)

I am just learning not to settle anymore. I seemed to do that when I felt hopeless in the past.

[debby]

ja ja they all say they are not searching :p

[justcarly]

I just stumbled upon this thread and I am so glad I did. I tend to fall or older women and it sucks because they are always ones that I can't have. I have a huge gigantic ginormic crush on my history teacher and it's getting to be ridiculous, more than a crush. But... can't have her. GRR. I think older women are more mature and that's really sexy to me. I gotta stop LOL

[3llen]

I just stumbled upon this thread and I am so glad I did. I tend to fall or older women and it sucks because they are always ones that I can't have. I have a huge gigantic ginormic crush on my history teacher and it's getting to be ridiculous, more than a crush. But... can't have her. GRR. I think older women are more mature and that's really sexy to me. I gotta stop LOL
how do you concentrate in her class then?? lol that must be hard!

[justcarly]

how do you concentrate in her class then?? lol that must be hard!

I have no idea... :( I try my hardest but I can't keep staring at her. She's just the most beautiful person I've ever seen. AH why couldn't my mom have just 10 years earlier lol :p

[Adusha]

I don't think age matters at all. Ellen and Portia are 15 years apart, and yet they are the perfect couple! I've just turned 18, last month, and my girlfriend is 22. Okay, so that's not the biggest age gap, but as long as it's legal, age shouldn't matter.

[EllenDeRossi]

age is just a number...

although personally i dont see myself at the age of 22, being with someone ellen's age..thats just me though.

[AussieDeRossi]

I totally argee with you there, that age is just a number. Well i am 28 and my husband is 31 and i really dont care about the age gap between us at all as its only just under 3 years difference and i dont care that he is that much older than me either as they are just numbers and all that counts is that we love each other etc.:D

age is just a number...

[kadinstar]

age is just a number...

although personally i dont see myself at the age of 22, being with someone ellen's age..thats just me though.


Not according to the law... =)