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View Full Version : Did I mess up?


efil
11-26-2007, 08:54 PM
Hello lovelies... i'm new here, but i'd really appreciate some advice...

I know i'm bi, but i've only been with men, especially since it's more "socially acceptable" and many people are so narrow-minded. There are so many gorgeous and intelligent women I have had feelings for, but they were always straight or in a relationship.

Anyway, last week-end I was at the bar with friends. We had too much to drink and at the end of the night, a girl started coming on to me. I think she's extremely hot and smart, but she has a boyfriend. I didn't know she was bi, but she kept flirting in a really obvious way, whispering nasty things to my ear.

Finally, she threw herself at me and kissed me. I like that girl so much, I couldn't resist, so we kissed. At first, I thought it was a meaningless flirt, like girls do all the time. But she wouldn't stop, and I didn't want to either.

Of course people were staring and her boyfriend soon realized we were totally into each other. He actually mentionned something about a threesome, but I politely refused. Meanwhile, his girlfriend was so wasted, she kept staring at me and saying how she wanted me.

Her boyfriend had to carry her home, and I was left at the bar, thinking this was just a funny anecdote.

The next day, a lot of our friends were mad at me, including her boyfriend, who doesn't want to talk to me at all. People think I did something wrong and they treat me lot a slut, like some sort of "couples breaker".

I talked to the girl and she apologized for what she had done. She says it was her who threw herself at me. Nonetheless, people hold me responsible for it and I just don't know what to do.... am I really a bad person!?

Humanafterall
11-26-2007, 09:17 PM
No hun. You did nothing wrong. I am sorry to read that this happened to you. You must feel hurt, confused, ashamed and alone. But please know this, on this site, in this family. You are never alone.

Peace :)

Kate

maddog
11-26-2007, 11:56 PM
In my opinion, you were NOT to blame. The boyfriend is blaming you because you are the easiest one to blame. He won't blame his girlfriend (yet anyway) because he has to deal with her or live with her. Your freinds are only mad with you cos they are feeling the boyfriends hurt.
This is life, it happens everwhere. YES, you are not alone. I feel for ur pain. Be strong, this will pass. ;)

3llen
11-27-2007, 05:14 PM
Be strong, this will pass. ;)

like ellen says this too shall pass.. :rolleyes::o

efil
11-27-2007, 07:42 PM
thank you, really. you know how things all make sense when you reason, but emotions still take over and you suddenly become irrational? it's like the whole world is against me for what i believe is a silly incident (although i did feel a lot of things while we were kissing!)

i just don't know what to do now...?

maddog
11-28-2007, 01:07 AM
thank you, really. you know how things all make sense when you reason, but emotions still take over and you suddenly become irrational? it's like the whole world is against me for what i believe is a silly incident (although i did feel a lot of things while we were kissing!)

i just don't know what to do now...?

Your Welcome ;)

Sometimes feelings have to be held back. eg If I have a crush on a straight girl (I had many) I can't go and tell her, if I feel she likes me a lil more than a friend and she hasn't got a partner, maybe then I'll let her know. It all depends on the situation. To me its about not steping on toes so to speak. Life wasn't meant to be easy and emotions are delicate issue, what don't kill ya only makes ya stronger, you'll be ok :p