xmaryx
12-20-2007, 10:46 AM
hey gang, well im in a bit of a tricky situation and dont really know what to do so i thought i'd put it out there
basically im having major problems with a girl i was in an open relationship with - to the extent where currently she wants nothing to do w me and i cant understand it
me and this girl have been friends for 8 ish years, and i always joked with her that she may be gay etc etc. then about whilst i was away at uni about 3 years ago she started to date a girl which lasted for about 1 1/2 years. which is all cool. the only problem with that relationship is elena kept it hidden from everyone pretty much and i only found out by accident when i happened to meet her gf (without elena being there) and put two and two together.
anywhos skip forward to this year. this summer we got really close and saw eachother at least five evenings a week, she would even text me at 11pm and we'd go out and see the cows in the fields (we lived in a rural area at the time, so not much else to do) and generally have a good time. we slowly got closer and finally got it together in sept. in sept and oct things were all great, i stayed at hers, she stayed at mine etc etc and we had a fab time altho it was clear from both of us that it was more of a sex thing then an actual relationship which was cool w me.
anywhos i live in london and she does not, but the past 3 weeks she's been staying in london w a friend. this was planned ages ago, and in october she was like 'sure you can come stay w me at my friends etc' but it never happened. everytime i asked to go round for breakfast/dinner/whatever she was always too busy
and so i asked her yesterday if i could see her over xmas to give her her xmas present and she simply said 'no' in a text message back. so i got upset and angry and sent her a long email saying how i thought she'd messed me around as we'd barely seen eachother since end of october (and even that was weird) and if she didnt want to see me why did she have to lead me on etc
so skip forward to today and basically i got a message saying literally 'please do not contact me unless you're dying'
and this is from someone who ive been really good friends w since school, and thought i was getting along well
the only 'bad' point about our open relationship from my point of view is that it caused tention w my housemate as elena was not out and he thinks all gay people should be out. esp. as when we were with elena's friends we basically had to pretend that we were just friends, which didnt bother me as i think coming out should be done in someones own time
the last time i was out w elena and her friends was bonfire night and it was a bit awkward, things like thinking twice before hugging/kissing her etc incase her friends saw
now the only thing that i can think of as to why she is being so off is that she feels our 'relationship' might have blown her straight girl cover.
im really at a loss. any advice would be much appreciated, and sorry about the essay :xmas_10:
mary x.
basically im having major problems with a girl i was in an open relationship with - to the extent where currently she wants nothing to do w me and i cant understand it
me and this girl have been friends for 8 ish years, and i always joked with her that she may be gay etc etc. then about whilst i was away at uni about 3 years ago she started to date a girl which lasted for about 1 1/2 years. which is all cool. the only problem with that relationship is elena kept it hidden from everyone pretty much and i only found out by accident when i happened to meet her gf (without elena being there) and put two and two together.
anywhos skip forward to this year. this summer we got really close and saw eachother at least five evenings a week, she would even text me at 11pm and we'd go out and see the cows in the fields (we lived in a rural area at the time, so not much else to do) and generally have a good time. we slowly got closer and finally got it together in sept. in sept and oct things were all great, i stayed at hers, she stayed at mine etc etc and we had a fab time altho it was clear from both of us that it was more of a sex thing then an actual relationship which was cool w me.
anywhos i live in london and she does not, but the past 3 weeks she's been staying in london w a friend. this was planned ages ago, and in october she was like 'sure you can come stay w me at my friends etc' but it never happened. everytime i asked to go round for breakfast/dinner/whatever she was always too busy
and so i asked her yesterday if i could see her over xmas to give her her xmas present and she simply said 'no' in a text message back. so i got upset and angry and sent her a long email saying how i thought she'd messed me around as we'd barely seen eachother since end of october (and even that was weird) and if she didnt want to see me why did she have to lead me on etc
so skip forward to today and basically i got a message saying literally 'please do not contact me unless you're dying'
and this is from someone who ive been really good friends w since school, and thought i was getting along well
the only 'bad' point about our open relationship from my point of view is that it caused tention w my housemate as elena was not out and he thinks all gay people should be out. esp. as when we were with elena's friends we basically had to pretend that we were just friends, which didnt bother me as i think coming out should be done in someones own time
the last time i was out w elena and her friends was bonfire night and it was a bit awkward, things like thinking twice before hugging/kissing her etc incase her friends saw
now the only thing that i can think of as to why she is being so off is that she feels our 'relationship' might have blown her straight girl cover.
im really at a loss. any advice would be much appreciated, and sorry about the essay :xmas_10:
mary x.