tcsced
08-14-2008, 01:13 AM
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/11-20061.jpg
Ellen: "Oh, I thought this was the shower! I didn't bring enough shower caps for everyone!! And I thought the hotel room itself was huge!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/4581.jpg
Ellen: "Oooh, this is going to be a fun night!! Well, for you lazy people anyway!! All you did was put on something pretty and ride down here and got drunk right away! I have to do all the work! Did I say that last part out loud?"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/21.jpg
Ellen: "Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you....oh wait, this isn't the American Idol auditions? Sorry, I got the wrong building!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Jay20Leno-13092005-352.jpg
Ellen: "Jay, you've got monkey hanging from your lights up there! I hope he doesn't jump on me!! I already got one monkey off my back eleven years ago, I don't need another one!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_TEDS922.jpg
Ellen: "I have a hole in the a** of my jeans...but shhhhh!! Don't tell anybody! I don't want ANYONE to find out!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen20DeGeneres20i20Portia20de20Ro.jpg
Portia: "Ellen, what's with all these people wanting autographs?"
Ellen: "Portia, it's called, we're celebrities and they're fans...I thought we went over this!!"
Portia: "But five minutes ago the same people were just standing around us and doing nothing!"
Ellen: "Maybe from behind they thought we were Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson."
Portia: "Well, wouldn't they want an autograph from them too?"
Ellen: "Well yes, but first they were probably too busy texting their friends telling them we got back together!!"
Portia: "Me and you?"
Ellen: "No, Sonny and Cher!! Kate and Owen, silly!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/151.jpg
Portia: "How many of his yellow jerseys do you think she used to make THAT dress?"
Ellen: "Well, he won seven Tour de Frances, so I would say....two?"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/171.jpg
Portia: "Ellen, I want a hat like that guy back there!!!"
Ellen: "Chill out! Which guy?"
Portia: "The chef!"
Ellen: "If I get you one, will you cook for me?"
Portia: "I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything!"
Ellen: "Well, then I'll just buy you a roll of paper towels...they look just like that hat, and when you need one to clean up the mess you'll make...and trust me, you'll make a big mess....you can just roll the hat around and tear of piece off!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_DaytimeEmmys4-28-061.jpg
Ellen: "What's behind your back?"
Portia: "If you can guess what it is, I'll give it to you!"
Ellen: "My other Emmy?"
Portia: "Damn, you're good!! How did you know?"
Ellen: "Well, the only other thing you had in your hand earlier was my iPhone and I know it wasn't that!"
Portia: "Nothing gets past you, does it honey?"
Ellen: "Nope! Although, if you got my Emmy behind your back without me seeing it, I guess it did get past me!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/th_Ellen_PortiaRomeItaly6-30-0867.jpg (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_PortiaRomeItaly6-30-0867.jpg)
Portia: "OMG, Craig is trying to get our money back just because your fries were a little cold!! How embarassing!!"
Ellen: "I didn't even complain about them, it was him the whole time!!"
Portia: "Why is he complaining?"
Ellen: "Well, let's just say I ordered the fries for me, but I'm still hungry!"
Portia: "He ate all your fries?"
Ellen: "Yeah, I guess when we got up to go to the bathroom he gobbled them down!"
Portia: "Pig!"
Ellen: "Pig is here? Where?"
Portia: "Not THAT Pig...Craig!!"
Ellen: "Oh yeah! Where's the nearest table we can hide under?"
Ellen: "Oh, I thought this was the shower! I didn't bring enough shower caps for everyone!! And I thought the hotel room itself was huge!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/4581.jpg
Ellen: "Oooh, this is going to be a fun night!! Well, for you lazy people anyway!! All you did was put on something pretty and ride down here and got drunk right away! I have to do all the work! Did I say that last part out loud?"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/21.jpg
Ellen: "Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you....oh wait, this isn't the American Idol auditions? Sorry, I got the wrong building!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Jay20Leno-13092005-352.jpg
Ellen: "Jay, you've got monkey hanging from your lights up there! I hope he doesn't jump on me!! I already got one monkey off my back eleven years ago, I don't need another one!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_TEDS922.jpg
Ellen: "I have a hole in the a** of my jeans...but shhhhh!! Don't tell anybody! I don't want ANYONE to find out!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen20DeGeneres20i20Portia20de20Ro.jpg
Portia: "Ellen, what's with all these people wanting autographs?"
Ellen: "Portia, it's called, we're celebrities and they're fans...I thought we went over this!!"
Portia: "But five minutes ago the same people were just standing around us and doing nothing!"
Ellen: "Maybe from behind they thought we were Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson."
Portia: "Well, wouldn't they want an autograph from them too?"
Ellen: "Well yes, but first they were probably too busy texting their friends telling them we got back together!!"
Portia: "Me and you?"
Ellen: "No, Sonny and Cher!! Kate and Owen, silly!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/151.jpg
Portia: "How many of his yellow jerseys do you think she used to make THAT dress?"
Ellen: "Well, he won seven Tour de Frances, so I would say....two?"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/171.jpg
Portia: "Ellen, I want a hat like that guy back there!!!"
Ellen: "Chill out! Which guy?"
Portia: "The chef!"
Ellen: "If I get you one, will you cook for me?"
Portia: "I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything!"
Ellen: "Well, then I'll just buy you a roll of paper towels...they look just like that hat, and when you need one to clean up the mess you'll make...and trust me, you'll make a big mess....you can just roll the hat around and tear of piece off!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_DaytimeEmmys4-28-061.jpg
Ellen: "What's behind your back?"
Portia: "If you can guess what it is, I'll give it to you!"
Ellen: "My other Emmy?"
Portia: "Damn, you're good!! How did you know?"
Ellen: "Well, the only other thing you had in your hand earlier was my iPhone and I know it wasn't that!"
Portia: "Nothing gets past you, does it honey?"
Ellen: "Nope! Although, if you got my Emmy behind your back without me seeing it, I guess it did get past me!!"
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/th_Ellen_PortiaRomeItaly6-30-0867.jpg (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tcsced/Ellen_PortiaRomeItaly6-30-0867.jpg)
Portia: "OMG, Craig is trying to get our money back just because your fries were a little cold!! How embarassing!!"
Ellen: "I didn't even complain about them, it was him the whole time!!"
Portia: "Why is he complaining?"
Ellen: "Well, let's just say I ordered the fries for me, but I'm still hungry!"
Portia: "He ate all your fries?"
Ellen: "Yeah, I guess when we got up to go to the bathroom he gobbled them down!"
Portia: "Pig!"
Ellen: "Pig is here? Where?"
Portia: "Not THAT Pig...Craig!!"
Ellen: "Oh yeah! Where's the nearest table we can hide under?"