affairs

[dime]

Just wondering how many people have had an affair with someone already in a relationship? How many fantasize about it? How many haven't but would if the opportunity presented itself? Where do you draw the line in your opinion, b/w desiring ( in secret) and actually acting on your desires?

Try to keep answers short and to the point without writing essays please. Short responses are more interesting to read.

[hobbes]

not me.

Is it short enough ?? :dry:

[BeNt]

Cheating is Cheating and Im no Cheat!

[AussieDeRossi]

i would not and will not cheat on my partner what so ever, but my partner said he would not cheat on me when i asked him about it but im not 100% sure that he wouldn't cheat on me, but yeah i will not ever cheat on him with anyone else.

[zoeak]

Every person is responsible for their own actions.

I would never cheat on a partner, and I would never actively pursue someone who was in a relationship. However, if someone who was attached actively pursued me, and I was single, I don't know what I would do; if I really liked the person I would probably go for it, because it's the cheater who's doing something wrong, not the person they cheat with.

Responsibility for one's own actions, and one's own relationship, no-one is responsible for someone else's relationship.

Of course, I would never be able to trust her, since she considers pursuing people outside her relationship to be ok, and that would bother me. And blah blah essay. (I really suck at not answering with essays...)

[bludflygrl]

I don't believe in cheating..Why be in a relationship??Hell it's hard enuff to find one woman to be with:p
However...I have been attracted to a married woman (ok a couple).. Only came close to acting on it once..she and I got a little intoxicated and made out heavily, I stopped cos her hubby was passed out by the pool!!

I usually stay away from women in relationships!

[jlilest]

I don't understand why anyone would want to cheat.

If the relationship isn't working, work on it or stop wasting everyone's time and end it.

[hobbes]

I completely agree with you, James !

[DGenX]

maybe some have affairs or cheat cos either they don't want a committal relationship, wanting more than just one mate, thinks its okay, trapped, confused, short fling or think they can get away with it :blink::blink:

[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

One of my friends cheated on her husband. Then she got remarried and she cheated on that husband. I caught her. It was awful. Now there are rumors she is cheating again... like her daughter told me, once a cheater always a cheater. It really bothers me because she has it all. I would never cheat and never think about it.

[bgfilly]

There are may situations when it comes to cheating. You have to look at all aspects of the relationship. I personally have cheated, but there were circumstances I was in an abusivie relationship and sought out comfort and affection in someone else, however that does not make it right. I deeply regret what i did and i certinaly would never do it agian. But like I said i had circumstances that drove me to that position.

If I am in a normal, healthy, loving relationship i dont see how the prospect of cheating can even come into play. It's wrong on so many levels. If you do it just to do it,then you're not only hurting someone else you are hurting yourself as well.

I completely agree with James, if the relationship is not going right, either work on it or end it. I made the mistake of not ending it and i paid the consequences dearly.

[dime]

Do you regret it because of the consequences or because it was wrong?

[bgfilly]

Do you regret it because of the consequences or because it was wrong?

Honestly, I regret it for both reasons. I am not a cheater in any aspect. I always have viewed it as wrong. It got so bad in my relationship where not only was I emotionally and verbally abused but physically. So I sought out comfort in someone else. What i should have done was leave the relationship but its very hard to leave an abusive relationship. So I strayed. None of what i did was right and i dont justify any of it. It made the situation worse. Fact of the matter is if i hadnt been so abused I would never have strayed to begin with. It still doesn't make it ok

But you have to look at the situation as a whole, if i wasnt being abused would I have cheated, probably not. Do i want to cheat on anyone that I am with now, Absoutly not. The point is though you should never stray you should always find some means to either work it through or end the relationship. Have I learned from this? Big time! There is a whole long situation that ended up with the person i was with finding out and my almost ending up in the hosptial.

[merl]

I won't believe in cheating as well. I once had a crush on my friend who is straight and who was married, even though it's so hard i never crossed that boundary.

It's all depends on the way we handle things. It's up to us to make a relationship works and breaks. If we can't live with a person then we should end it, in a respectful way.

Even though I'm single now, i will never want my partner to cheat on me and the same way i will never cheat and hurt her. So trust me on that :d_wink:

Why do we want our life to be complicated. Love should be simple and beautiful. :)

[jlilest]

I'm glad to hear you got out of that relationship bgfilly.

No one should be treated like you were by them.

It is easy for me to talk about not cheating since I have barely dated. Never being in a position to do something makes it easy to make a clear statement about it.

[bgfilly]

i'm glad to have gotten out of it too James!

As I said I do not condone cheating in anyway and I do regret doing it but sometimes a situation comes into play as well that can make things rather difficult and in my case i made the wrong choice.

[dime]

I used to see life very black and white. It's hard to do that when you begin to acknowledge how human we really are. i say that knowing that being human means we are more accountable and simultaneously more vulnerable. Shit Happens.

i strongly believe in "never say never" - you just don't know when you will find yourself compromising those high moralistic ideals we all hold.

[amccrazgrl]

I don't think I could cheat on anyone espcailly my current gf.
Her ex cheated on her with over 10 people. That is ridiclous. Everytime I think about that it makes me a little mad and love her for myself even more.

[dancingqueen]

i strongly believe in "never say never" - you just don't know when you will find yourself compromising those high moralistic ideals we all hold.

Exactly right. For a prime example lets look at Ellen & Portia. They were with other people at the time & in long term committed relationships, but they had an enormous attraction to each other. Four years later ..... they're married & the happiest couple on the planet.

A few years ago I would've said "no .... cheating or having an affair is totally unethical & out of the question" .... but you just never know when the love of your life walks thru the door.

Just my 2 cents.

[dime]

worth more than 2cents in my books d-queen
however, it doesn't even have to be a 'true love' encounter that leads a person into compromise. Shit happens even when we think we just aren't that kinda gal... and the ideals we usually use to judge ourselves (and others) with, sometimes fall short of accepting human nature( not meaning in any way to ignore the role of accountability)

[Loopy_loo]

personally, i myself have never cheated, an do not intend to any time in the near future.ive seen what cheating does, and do not on any level condone it.(however ive never cheated or been cheated on so nothing to base it on) all i know is i want to stay well away from cheating.

[annita]

Havent done it and I hope I will never do it... That is just bad bad bad... but then again we are all humans and stuff happens sometimes.. I hope it doesnt happen tough... I have been cheated tough... thats why I think I will never put anyone through that,,, :kaffeetrinker_2: bla bla bla ;)

[dime]

Havent done it and I hope I will never do it... That is just bad bad bad... but then again we are all humans and stuff happens sometimes.. I hope it doesnt happen tough... I have been cheated tough... thats why I think I will never put anyone through that,,, :kaffeetrinker_2: bla bla bla ;)


Cheating doesn't usually start in a physical way. It begins with a stray thought, an unexpected desire. For this reason I believe everyone cheats in life. I honestly don't think people intend to hurt each other. Shit just happens.

[annita]

Cheating doesn't usually start in a physical way. It begins with a stray thought, an unexpected desire. For this reason I believe everyone cheats in life. I honestly don't think people intend to hurt each other. Shit just happens.


I tought an action was to actually go ahead an act on it... while you have toughts about something it doesnt usually harm anyone... not just cheating but any action haha am thinking out loud.. like you said... whatever... :scoolblue:
My tought belong to just one person.... oh yes!!! :kaffeetrinker_2:
nice thread...

[jlilest]

I think that there are at least two schools of thought on thinking about cheating or being with someone is cheating.

Some people think it is and some people don't.

I think that it isn't always possible to control your thoughts, but if you dwell on it, that can be controlled and might cause harm.

[annita]

I think that there are at least two schools of thought on thinking about cheating or being with someone is cheating.

Some people think it is and some people don't.

I think that it isn't always possible to control your thoughts, but if you dwell on it, that can be controlled and might cause harm.


Sounds about right Mr. James! :rolleyes:

[dime]

I tought an action was to actually go ahead an act on it... while you have toughts about something it doesnt usually harm anyone... not just cheating but any action haha am thinking out loud.. like you said... whatever... :scoolblue:
My tought belong to just one person.... oh yes!!! :kaffeetrinker_2:
nice thread...

If I loved someone and in their mind and/or heart they desired someone else that could be hurtful. Its hard acknowledging and owning our thoughts and desires when they aren't inline with our 'moral' standards or self-expectations. This is why for me the most important trait in a person is honesty-cum-loyalty. I don't believe you can be loyal without honesty. This includes being honest about what we think and desire. :confused:

[annita]

If I loved someone and in their mind and/or heart they desired someone else that could be hurtful. Its hard acknowledging and owning our thoughts and desires when they aren't inline with our 'moral' standards or self-expectations. This is why for me the most important trait in a person is honesty-cum-loyalty. I don't believe you can be loyal without honesty. This includes being honest about what we think and desire. :confused:


I agree am all for that... :)