Anyone who has an ex-gf?

[LittleAngel]

Just thought I would ask you guys a question. Do any of you have an ex girlfriend, partner or whatever you want to call it, that you have tried to be friends with? If so how well did it work?

[Sobe]

I have an ex that I am really close to. We have had a very rocky relationaship. We've gotten together...broken up...gotten together...broken up...then got together and now we are broken up. But we stay really good friends. It worked out for me. If you are in this situation I hope it works out for you!! :D

[Lovelysavior]

My ex and I are on speaking terms ... I no longer live in the same town so it is a little more difficult to keep the lines of communications up and going.
l.s.

[Kerry]

Hey Lovelysavior, are you from South Carolina?

[mariposa]

After breaking up with my ex of 6 years, 3 years ago we tired to be friends but it was really hard for me, cause I was still getting over her. Presently we still talk here and there, maybe once a week. And now that I am totally over her, I am able to just be friends with her. And I know my present girlfriend knows that its all platonic and she is the only one for me now!

[upeepLrNuts]

You didn't say how long you and your ex were together and who broke up with who. While the "Dumper" generally has an easier time than the "Dumpie", it still takes time to get over a failed relationship. I read somewhere that it takes about 6 months for every 2 yrs you were together. There is a whole grieving process that both people will be going through, which can make trying to remain friends very difficult and painful at first. I ended a 7 yr relationship about 3 yrs ago, and it was very difficult time for both of us. I was hesitant to spend much time with her as I didn't want to foster any false hopes of a reconcilliation. It was hard to see someone I had loved in so much pain because of me. I admit I took the cowards way out and just avoided her. Anyways - the saying is true - time heals all wounds! We are tenatively becoming friends again. Give her time and space and there is a good chance that you will end up being friends. There is no way to hurry things along. Hope this helps!

[Chaotic_Embrace]

Yes! My ex Amber and I dated and broke up after a month because it was just too hard to see eachother. We stopped talking and after a while(approx. 6 months), we started talked again. Two weeks later we stopped. And about 2 months ago we started talking again, and we're like best friends. We have such good times together.

We both like eachother and she is so gorgeous. SO hot. And funny, charming, intelligent. She's Ellen in a different body. <3

http://iheartdavey0.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/imagessss.jpg.w300h227.jpg

http://www.superdyke.com/images/profiles/sk2a_320_x_240.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v448/asstard/274bddcd.bmp

Why, would I not want to be friends with HER. <333 We're best friends now. Maybe something more. I'm happy. As for all my other ex's. We're friends, but not very good ones. All my other ex's have changed a lot. They're into drugs and crap. Not my thing.

Wooooooooo.

[LittleAngel]

Thanks for all your replies. upeepLrNuts, we were together a little over 4 years. I don't really think one of us broke up with the other, we were just constanly fighting. I was graduating from college and had the chance to go to another school in another state for free. So I am here now and she is 4 hours away. We had been talking at least every other day if not everyday until she went home for Christmas and so did I. (we are originally from the same city) Then of course we saw each other a lot. We ended up hooking up again while we were home and that brought back a lot of feelings and we started talking three and four times a day like we used to. But I knew she was talking with other people, I don't know if it they were just friends or if they were begining something new. But I had a very hard time dealing with the thought of it. It has been 7 months since I moved but I haven't gone out with anyone else, I haven't thought I was ready. About eight days ago, she called and then got another call and said she would call me back. After about an hour I called to say I was going to bed. She was still on the phone. So a minute later I called back and asked if we could talk, I told her that I didn't want her to call me anymore. She told me that was not fair because I was her best friend and she wanted to talk to me. I got a little upset and cried a little bit but still asked her not to call, because it is hard for me to move on when she calls. She said that she would try to keep from calling and respect my feelings and like I said it has been about 8 days. I'm not sure what will happen now, I do miss her very much and hope that we can be friends but I just don't know how that works. I mean all the guys I have ever dated I am friends withnow, but that never felt the same as this. So I guess we will see. Now that I have bored you all to death with my problems let me say thanks for your comments, I know it is going to take time, I just wish it would hurry up!!

[Chaotic_Embrace]

I'm sorry to hear that.

For me, I would rather be hurt, and keep her as a friend. Then not have her as a friend at all. If you two are going to just stop talking, then there is a high chance you won't remain friends. Why? Because you're jealous. But just hide it. And if it bothers you that much, talk to her. And maybe work around it somehow.

I really hope you two work it out. And w00t for collage.

[LittleAngel]

i know that is true Chaotic, and I should do whatever it takes to remain friends and maybe i will someday. I just have to get these feelings behind me. I mean they have already gotten a little better and it hasn't been that long. So maybe I will get the courage to call her soon and just see how it feels. Thanks :)

[Chaotic_Embrace]

^^ I hope all works out.

[upeepLrNuts]

When you said you hooked up again at Christmas - do you mean dating again or just hanging out? I had a g/f years ago that I was absolutely nuts about. We did the whole on again/off again thing for a couple of years. It seemed that whenever I started to move on, she would suddenly become "interested" again - when I was moping around, she'd be gone. Drove me absolutely bonkers! Anyways - once I clued in to the fact that she liked having me around as a "backup girlfriend" - I stopped playing the game. Again - it took a while, but we ended up being really good friends. As hard as it is to distance yourself from her right now - it is definitely the right thing to do. The whole point of having a friend is being with someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Why waste your energy on someone who hurts you? As for hiding your feelings - trust and honesty are 2 things that I value the most in any relationship. Trust me on this one - while it hurts like hell right now, it does get better!

[upeepLrNuts]

When you said you hooked up again at Christmas - do you mean dating again or just hanging out? I had a g/f years ago that I was absolutely nuts about. We did the whole on again/off again thing for a couple of years. It seemed that whenever I started to move on, she would suddenly become "interested" again - when I was moping around, she'd be gone. Drove me absolutely bonkers! Anyways - once I clued in to the fact that she liked having me around as a "backup girlfriend" - I stopped playing the game. Again - it took a while, but we ended up being really good friends. As hard as it is to distance yourself from her right now - it is definitely the right thing to do. The whole point of having a friend is being with someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Why waste your energy on someone who hurts you? As for hiding your feelings - trust and honesty are 2 things that I value the most in any relationship. Trust me on this one - while it hurts like hell right now, it does get better!

[LittleAngel]

Thanks upeep. I now know that she is seeing someone. She invited one of my old roomates to a party she was having the other night and of course I had to ask if she had a g/f. My old roommate said she did but she does'nt think she is that into the new girl. After I found out I decided to go out and try not to think about it. I had a good weekend and met some great girls. I figure I will send her a birhtday card (its in early Feb.) and see how that goes. But I know it will still be very hard to talk to her. Just the thought of her being with someone else makes my stomach hurt. But like you said it will take time. Thanks for your thoughts!! They have helped so much!

[haokan]

Just thought I would ask you guys a question. Do any of you have an ex girlfriend, partner or whatever you want to call it, that you have tried to be friends with? If so how well did it work?

honestly it has never worked for me!!!

usually we'd be friends afterwards but end up making out after a few days/weeks. and then after that everything would be ruined because obviously one of us still has feelings, so the friend thing wouldn't be possible. :oops:

once this scenario had to repeat itself 5 times before we definitely ended it!! but maybe it's just because i'm so hot... ppl can't get over me!!

Nah, JUST KIDDING!!! :lol: actually i'm always the one who ends up being hurt cauz i fully invest myself when it's too late. not very clever but hey... the fear of being hurt usually doesn't take you very far :?