[AnastasiaBeavrhausen]

Well I guess its my turn. A few of you know that I have always said I was straight and I was. WAS! 8 months ago today, a beautiful woman told me she was in love with me. I was shocked and told her I was straight. And we talked (texted) until 6am talking about this love she had for me. I was so scared and shocked. Because I didnt want to hurt her feelings and reject her.

We had our first "date" on my birthday and really hit it off. It was a great weekend. I was scared and so was she and what is funny is that we were sitting on the couch saying, "We arent lesbians are we?" "No we arent gay!" She is divorced and has 3 kids... me I was single at the time, and I almost got married to a man that I was with for 5 years.

The thing is, I came out to my mom and a few of you know here and she and my friends here were very supportive. My girlfriend however, is not out and its tearing her apart. She just told me today she is telling her kids this weekend and wants me to move in with her eventually and even talked about getting married since it is legal in Iowa. But this has been so hard on her because not want her kids to be bullied in school because the school district is having a problem with that. I think she is afraid of her kids wanting to leave and go live with their dad in Florida. One of her kids already lives there.

I am not all the way out and it took me a lot of courage to do it here. For those that know me on Facebook, please do not mention any of it there because I am still in the closet and waiting until its the right time to do it because I have so many high school and college friends that do not know yet.

I just ask for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Kim is going through a heck of a time because she is so scared, she is not sleeping, its tearing her apart and I am being patient. I also have come out to a few of my close friends here at home and have had nothing but support.

I just cant believe the love we have for each other. There have been good times and we have broken up I dont know how many time lol. But we still have this amazing connection that is so strong I cant even explain it. But she is the love of my life and I am proud to say I am a lesbian. We joke about it... she loves to call me one all the time. But anyway, I wanted to tell you all and it was hard to do this. But I ask for support and prayers for us as we go through this trial of coming out to family members, friends and others. Its going to be hard. But I feel that it will turn out okay. I am deathly afraid of her kids hating me so if anyone here has kids any advice would be great.

Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling. I tend to do that when I am nervous... Love you guys.